Amber Awakening
by elgaladangel
Summary: Another average day at the Kamiya dojo-Oros, laundry, and psycho villains at the door. But when a battle goes fatally wrong, Kaoru finds herself with scars on her soul that only one man can heal. (KK(B) Violence and later sexuality
1. Just an Ordinary Day

This is written as a twist on all those "Kenshin-accidentally-kills-and-becomes-Battousai" stories.  

That plot theme is overdone, so I decided to make my own plot, with the basic climax but far different results.  

This is going to be a very dark and angsty fic, especially for Kaoru, for the most part.  It deals with Kenshin and 

his darker side Battousai, Kaoru and a side of her that no one ever sees, and a lot of the fundamentals of the relationship between the two.  

Things might move a bit slowly, so please bear with me.

*…* denotes thinking.

"…" denotes speaking.

*          *          *

_One man scorned and covered in scars _

_tried with his last ounce of courage _

_to reach the unreachable stars; _

_and the world will be better for this._

—Miguel de Cervantes

Chapter One 

The sun rose fair and high in the sky, over the downtown Tokyo district.  The birdsong was echoing through the autumn woods and down the streets, cheerful and bright.  The wind flew down from the east and whistled through the busy market streets, dodging into back roads and alleys, and swirled into the yard of a small, extremely clean dojo.

Kaoru smiled in pleasure as the welcome breeze entwined itself in her midnight hair, giving her a brief relief from the warm glare of the sun.  Her ocean-blue eyes opened wide, and she gave the dojo that she had owned and run for several years a look of benevolent satisfaction.

Everything was right, for the time being—at least, as right as it could be.  Yahiko was obeying her for once, and had consented to his chores without much of a fuss.  Sanosuke was gone for the moment, but had promised to drop in later for dinner (especially with the assurance that she would not attempt to cook tonight).  Megumi too was coming over—no doubt the Rooster and the Fox would be at it before dinner was cooked.  And most important of all. . .

Her smile brightened until it could nearly outshine the sun, as her eyes caught and held on the figure resting comfortably in the grass not five yards away.  His scarlet hair seemed to blaze like fire in the bright glare of the sun, and the wind made it float in the air and seem like the softest silk.  His muscular form, hidden under the ridiculous pink gi he always wore, rippled and moved easily through his chores.  His hands—swordsman's hands, artists hands—ran lightly over the task in front of him, fingers carefully feeling each task.

Kenshin.

Her sigh echoed throughout the yard as she gazed at him.  As always, her heart was immediately caught in that familiar, beautiful ache she always felt when she looked at him.  The wind seemed to have carried her high into the sky, and the feeling of falling was doing wonderful things to her stomach.

It had been several months since the wandering ex-hitokiri had come to stay in her dojo.  As far as Kaoru was concerned, those had been some of the best months of her life, excepting when he had left her to fight in Kyoto and that damned Enishi affair.  Her family, which had included only Dr. Genzai, Ayame, and Suzume a year before, had now expanded dramatically.  Kenshin, Yahiko, Sanosuke, and Megumi had all managed to entwine their lives with hers, and the result was a much happier and interesting Kamiya dojo.

The only problem was…

"Miss Kaoru?"

She half-jumped, startled as she saw Kenshin's soft eyes peering up at her from beneath unruly bangs.  "Yes!"  She bit her lip, blushing as her voice pitched unnaturally high.  _*Hmmmm…let's try that again…*_ "Yes, Kenshin?"  She said sweetly, pleased that her voice had returned to its normal octave.

The ex-hitokiri blinked at her for a moment before smiling.  "I was wondering if Miss Kaoru had gone to the market yet today."

Kaoru flushed.  "Ah, damn!—sorry, Kenshin."  She said hastily, noting how the wanderer had winced at the expletive.  "I forgot—I meant to go before Yahiko's lessons, but he was back from the Akabeko sooner than I had expected—"

 Kenshin held up one hand to halt her babbling.  "Miss Kaoru, it is no trouble at all.  I was just thinking that I had plenty of time to go over and buy tofu if you had not gone already."  He smiled innocently, lavender eyes bright and seeming to tell her that there would be nothing more fascinating in the world for him than to go to market and buy her dinner.

Kaoru returned his smile.  "I would appreciate that, Kenshin.  I had meant to decorate the dining-place a little before Megumi got here.  It'd be nice if I didn't have to worry about doing it in a rush."  Her eyes flashed angrily for a moment as she remembered Megumi's sly comment from the last time they had had the Doctor over for dinner.  She'd show that tricky woman that she could be a kenjitsu instructor AND a feminine woman!  Sweaty little girl?  Hmph!

"What was Miss Kaoru considering using to decorate?"  Kenshin asked, polite interest in his voice.

"Er…"  Kaoru laughed nervously.  "I'll think of something."

"I could get some flowers as well, if you'd like it."  Kenshin offered, a hint of amusement passing over his face.

"I'd like that, Kenshin.  Thank you."  She smiled brightly at him, heart sinking in her chest.  So…when Megumi came, the table deserved flowers.  Her smile turned slightly forced as she turned away to go inside and fetch the money for tofu.

That was what was wrong, she mused to herself, as she slid the shoji door open.  Ever since Kenshin had left for Kyoto, that _one_ night had been always in her thoughts.  There wasn't a morning where the image of fireflies didn't dance behind her eyes as she woke, and a night didn't pass without her dreaming at least once of feeling his arms around her, holding her as if she was something infinitely precious, something to be cherished and loved and cared for.  But that night and Kyoto had passed into memory, and Kenshin had remained, towards her, still the kind, thoughtful friend he always had been.   He seemed to have lost any inclination to see her as more than a friend, and the memory of the firefly-night seemed to have never pierced his consciousness.

It was beginning to drive her mad.

A sigh, half-angry and half-sorrowful filled the kitchen as Kaoru began to rummage about in search of money.

*                      *                      *

She was driving him insane, that she was.

Kenshin plunged his hands into the swiftly-cooling laundry bucket, washing the last of Yahiko's socks with a ferocity that he usually reserved for battle.  His usually serene eyes had a slightly distraught look about them.  As his hands moved from washing to hanging the laundry out to dry, his mind carefully went over what had gone wrong.

He had never intended to love again, after Tomoe.  For 10 years, he was certain that the hole her death left in his heart could not be filled.  He had been forever wounded, but content with the never-healing pain.  He had loved Tomoe dearly, and it seemed natural to continue grieving for as long as he could.

Then he had made the mistake of wandering through the alleys of downtown Tokyo in the early morning hours of a fateful spring morning.

His first sight of Kaoru had left him stricken, though at the time he knew not with what.  Though he was used to being attacked on the streets by people claiming vengeance, he was not used to those attackers being pretty young kendo-instructors with a surprisingly strong right punch.  The second shock had come when the aforementioned attacker had invited him into her home, with no knowledge of who he was or where he came from and no need to know.  He was poor and hungry, and that had been enough for her.

Her courage and compassion had attracted him, and her kindness was certainly no reason to leave.  He had stayed, and then been adopted into her life-style as easily as if he had been there all along.  The fact that he saved her life several times was a bonus for both of them.

He didn't know when exactly he had fallen in love with her, but he was willing to bet that it was right about the time when she had shown her greatest bravery of all, and insisted that the ex-manslayer Battousai make his home with her.  He shook his head, remembering.  That girl's reckless desire to help those in need of aid was going to get her into a lot more trouble in the future.

With the last of the laundry hung, Kenshin stood where he was for a long moment, contemplating the sky.  A few clouds were beginning to drift lazily overhead.  He shut his eyes, trying to block out the memory that was fighting its way to the surface.

That night.  The fireflies.

Kaoru's warmth, her fire, held tight in his arms.

Scarlet and black entwining together as their heads brushed each other and hair fell like a silk curtain around them.

Telling her he was leaving.

The shock and pain she felt had ripped through his own soul.  Her tears had shone in the night like stars, and her voice, pleading, begging him not to leave her…

And he had walked away.  Left her to the darkness's cold comfort.

That night was one he never stopped alternately despairing and longing for.  Kaoru didn't deserve him, and he knew it.  She deserved a prince, a young man from an honorable family with a huge amount of money and prestige, that she did  Not some old ex-samurai with a soul as tarnished and black as a moonless night.

But then again, she probably wouldn't be happy with a prince.  In fact, he was sure of that.  Kaoru didn't want riches, and she didn't want fame.  All she really seemed to want was her dojo and her family.  He felt a touch of triumph for vanquishing this imaginary lord, then shook his head in rueful disbelief.

_*She's a beautiful and innocent young woman, that she is.*_  He told himself fiercely.  _*She will find a dashing man, and you will remain a close friend and be there for her as an elder brother as she takes care of her husband and her friends and her children—*_

The rage accompanying this thought was almost enough to make him want to find one of Kaoru's suitors, just so he could threaten him away.  How dare anyone think that they could steal her away!  She was HIS!  No—no, wait—not his, he didn't deserve—

_*Ah, but you WANT her, don't you?* _Part of him whispered_.  *Her fire, her spirit, her warmth, those beautiful dark eyes, her silky hair, her innocent body—*_

With great resolve, Kenshin grabbed the laundry bucket and poured the soapy water on his head.

"Kenshin?!"

Spluttering, dripping wet, Kenshin pulled his soggy bangs aside to peer up at Kaoru's astonished expression.   He coughed politely, well-aware that he was soaked through to the skin all over.  "Erm—hello, Miss Kaoru."

Kaoru stared at Kenshin, unable to keep her eyes from scaling him up and down, partially in concern, partially in naïve amazement.  Streams of water were trickling down over his face and body, making his clothes stick tight to his body.  The planes of his chest came into sharp relief through the soaked fuchsia gi, and the muscles in his slender arms and legs became suddenly very obvious.  A strange feeling curled in the pit of Kaoru's stomach before she jerked her eyes back to his face, a pink blush covering her cheeks.  "What are you doing?"

"Doing the laundry?"  He offered weakly, scratching the back of his head.

"Ah."  Kaoru blinked a few times before a smile bloomed on her face.  A few high giggles began to break free, and she desperately clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle them.  But as Kenshin stared at her bewilderedly, her laughter broke free.  She began to howl with mirth.

Kenshin realized what he must look like, and several chuckles of his own escaped.  He shook himself slightly like a wet dog; and Kaoru let out another roar of laughter as water sprayed off him in all directions.  Giving up any hopes of getting dry, he joined in her merriment, grinning as he began to wring out his still-dripping mane of hair.

"I think that I should go get the tofu now, that I should."  He said lightly when the laughter had at last died away.  "Perhaps the walk will dry me off a bit."

Kaoru nodded, a last giggle escaping her before she handed Kenshin the few yen she had managed to dig up.  "I'll try and find you another gi to change into when you come back."  She promised, eyes twinkling at him.

His breath caught in his throat at the sparkle in her gorgeous eyes.  He half-bowed in thanks, and began to head out the dojo doors, still wringing his hair as he went.

Half-way there, he seemed to change his mind.  In mid-step he turned about and began instead to head for the dojo.

"Kenshin?  Wrong way."

He continued walking, giving her a polite smile.  "Thank you, Miss Kaoru, I do know that."

Kaoru blushed and bit her tongue in embarrassment.  "Where are you going then?"

He called back as he disappeared inside, "You said you wanted flowers as well for the table.  I saw a stand selling some very pretty ones the other day, and the money you gave me isn't enough to buy them."

"I can get you some more yen, then."  Kaoru said, beginning to make her way to the kitchen.

Kenshin stuck his head out and smiled.  "Actually, Miss Kaoru, I would prefer to buy these as a gift, that I would."

A gift?  Oh, a gift for Megumi.  Kaoru's spirits drooped as she offered him a feeble smile.  "All right, Kenshin."  She turned around and headed over to the laundry as if intending to take it off the line, though the clothes were still nearly as wet as Kenshin was.

He watched her go in confusion.  Did Miss Kaoru not like gifts?  Perhaps those attentions from him were not considered welcome.  His heart saddened as he turned back inside, still hoping to find some money left over from his meager purse as a wanderer.  Miss Kaoru did not want flowers from him, maybe, but he at least wanted the joy of giving her a present at least once.

Kaoru slowly ran her fingers over the clothesline, noting absently that the sky was beginning to fill with dark clouds.  There might not be enough time to dry the laundry fully if a storm hit…she frowned, looking at the sky more intently.  A few minutes ago, the day could not have been more beautiful.  Now a cool wind was beginning to blow, and storm clouds were slowly filling the horizon.

Kaoru shivered, wrapping her arms around herself.  There was something in the air that made her hair stand on end.  She kept her senses open, listening, watching, waiting for…something.  Whatever it was that was coming.  She was sure of one thing: it wasn't good.

Her breathing slowed as she concentrated.  Kenshin had taught her the beginnings of ki-sensing over the past month, and now she put her lessons into effect, reaching out with her mind to try and find out what was changed, what was making her so uneasy—

"Oy!  Jou-chan!"

Kaoru nearly jumped out of her skin.  "Sano!"  She screeched, whirling around.  "Don't you ever KNOCK?!"

The tall man chuckled, warm, dark eyes studying her from under his red bandanna.  "It'd take all the fun outta scaring you, wouldn't it?"  He inquired with a grin, reaching out to tousle her hair a bit.

Kaoru stuck her tongue out at him before smiling.  "I didn't expect you so early."

Sanosuke shrugged.  "Figured I'd come over and give y'all a hand."

"You lost all your money gambling and had to quit early."

Sanosuke colored.  "Does it matter?  I'm here, ain't I?"

Kaoru shook her head despairingly.  "Sano, I thought you said you were going to quit!"

"I said I'd quit the day the Fox an' I started courting."  Sanosuke corrected with a small scowl.  "And that day ain't happening any time soon."

"What's taking so long?"  Kaoru asked curiously.  Sano and Megumi weren't courting yet?  That was news to her—the way they blatantly flirted with each other had made her wonder if they had arranged a date with a priest yet.

"None of your business."  Sanosuke said gruffly, reaching out and giving her nose a tweak.  "How're you and Kenshin?"

Kaoru glanced at the dojo to confirm Kenshin was still out of sight.  "Bad."  She confessed, her voice dropping to a soft murmur that did not conceal her disappointment.  "I thought things would be different, after—you know—Enishi, and all.  But nothing's really changed.  He's friendly, but still so distant."  She shrugged and gave a half-hearted attempt to laugh.  "Maybe you and Yahiko and Megumi were right all along—I'm not feminine enough to interest him."  Her misery turned her usually vibrant azure eyes into a duller navy.

Sanosuke swallowed; he wasn't used to dealing with such strong emotions in Kaoru.  She was usually so upbeat and cheerful; seeing her down like this was almost unnatural.  "Hey, missy."  He said softly, awkwardly patting her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting motion.  "Don't go thinking like that, now—unworthiness is Kenshin's job."  That earned him a laugh, albeit a sad one.  "If you think Kenshin ain't interested, you're wrong."  He told her, slightly encouraged.  "He's crazy about you, I've seen it.  The man's just too thick and too stubborn to get that you're nuts about him too.  Give him time, he'll come around."

"I've given him time."  Kaoru muttered defiantly.  "I've given him LOTS of time!  I've given him more time than I ever wanted to!  I'd hoped to be married by this point, and yet here we are, same as always, doing the laundry together.  How romantic."

"Would things really change that much if you did marry?  He does all the housework anyway."

"Not helping."

Sanosuke sighed.  "Just hang in there, Kaoru.  If things don't pick up in another week or two, I'll arrange for you two to meet in the bathing house, all right?"

Kaoru replied to this by smacking him upside the head with an outraged squeak.  Within a moment, the two were tousling and wrestling in the yard like children.

"Kaoru!  Hey, Kaoru, I finished the—the hell?"  Yahiko came out of the dojo in time to see Kaoru give Sanosuke a magnificent tweak to one of his messy tufts of hair.  Sanosuke responded by grabbing Kaoru by the ponytail and nearly lifting her off the ground, until she kicked him full-force in the shin.

Yahiko eyed the situation for a few seconds before giving a whoop and joining the fray.

The fray ended a few minutes later, with Kaoru triumphantly standing over her vanquished foes.

"That hurt."  Sano muttered, gingerly touching the bump on his head and watching the world swirl around him.

"Owwwwww."  Yahiko agreed, giving Kaoru a black glare.

"You nearly won with that one punch."  Kaoru said cheerfully, lightly patting both of their heads and grinning when both swatted her hands away.

"Excuse me?  Is this the Kamiya Dojo?"

Kaoru turned, a flush covering her cheeks as she realized how silly the three of them must have looked. "Yes, it is.  May I help you?"  She placed her hands composedly on her hips, hoping that her calm, collected image of Assistant Master was back in place.

The man standing hesitantly in the doorway of the dojo gave a small nod of his head that might have been intended as a bow.  He was tall and stocky, and his muscles stood clearly out in his bared arms and neck.  His hair was a little too well brushed and his skin too clean for him to be a street thug—a merchant, perhaps?  No, he was too muscular for that.  Craftsman?  Surely not, those hands of his lacked any semblance to art in their beefy fingers.  Besides—a small shiver ran down her spine—something about his aura was not at all reassuring.  She doubted that he was an honest worker.

"May I help you?"  She asked, voice cooled quite a bit.  Whoever he was and whatever he wanted, he wasn't finding it in her dojo!  Behind her, she sensed Sanosuke and Yahiko had risen and were now standing at her back, inspecting the newcomer.

"I'm looking for someone."  The man replied, giving her a careful once-over—which made her bristle—and then looking past all of them to stare at the dojo.

"Who?  Maybe we can help you find them."  Sanosuke said too calmly.  Kaoru heard the crack of his knuckles.

"A—a person rumored to live in these parts."  The man answered, frowning a bit at Sanosuke.  Kaoru realized with some alarm that he was not at all intimidated.  Not all men could hold their ground or their composure when Sano started cracking his knuckles.  The look that entered his eyes at that point was always enough to deter weaker-willed competitors.

"A person?"  Yahiko asked suspiciously.  Kaoru's training and his experience with Kenshin as a role-model had taught him enough that you never trusted anyone who showed up at the Kamiya Dojo looking for "a person".

"What kind of a person?"  Kaoru asked.

The man seemed to be getting slightly annoyed now.  He opened his mouth to retort—then his eyes shifted past her, and opened in an almost fiendish stare.  "Him."

"Miss Kaoru!  I found my last few yen, that I did!  Shall I go to market now?"  Kenshin stepped off the porch, beaming at his friends, then stopped when he saw the stranger in the yard.  "Miss Kaoru, who is this?"  He asked in confusion, looking from the man to the group of his friends.   

 Before Kaoru could reply, the man was striding forward.  He brushed back his cloak to reveal the dark-colored scabbard at his waist.  "At last!"  He crowed, drawing the sword from its sheath and pointing it imperiously at a very perplexed Kenshin.  "At last I've found you, Battousai!  Now, you will pay for your crimes!"

Three very exasperated voices broke out at the same time.

"AGAIN?!"


	2. The Sword That Protects

_::squeaks::  I have REVIEWS!  I have—5 REVIEWS!  EEE!  ::is very pleased::_

_Want to get more chapters?  Then review more.  Trust me—there's a direct link between number of reviews and how fast the chapters get themselves written._

_And there's also a bit of fluffiness in this chapter. But not much.  (Just to tease you.)_

_Okay, we're going to get all nice and dark in this chapter.  Mostly because I am a total nitwit and severely overprotective.  Things will get considerably darker over the next few chapters—it's not going to be very pretty for Kaoru or Kenshin, let's just say that right now._

_"..." denotes speaking_

_*...* denotes thinking_

_DISCLAIMER:  Believe it or not, Kenshin does, in fact, belong to me.  ^.^_

_(Watsuki can keep those pesky copyrights on our story.)_

******************************************************************************************************************

Chapter Two

Once again, the dojo was in chaos.

The newcomer was attempting to cross the yard towards Kenshin, but was unfortunately being blocked by a furious Kaoru who was shouting at him at the top of her lungs.  Yahiko, who had still had his bokken in hand, was whacking him repeatedly in the shins and ankles.  Sanosuke was glowering from behind Kaoru, unable to get a shot in between the livid instructor and her student.  And Kenshin was standing on the porch, watching the scene very unhappily, and feeling a headache coming on.

"I must insist you move!"  The man said loudly, over Kaoru's diatribe.  "This man is a criminal and I must—"

"You must and will do nothing!"  Kaoru yelled, blue flames practically sparking in her eyes.  "You are going to turn around and leave this instant!  How dare you come in here and make that kind of a challenge!"

"—he has killed dozens of people—"

"Eleven years ago, damn you!  He doesn't kill anymore!  He wouldn't even FIGHT anymore if idiots like you didn't come around and start attacking him like this!" 

"—he needs to be brought to justice—"

"And justice is you breaking and entering into our home and harassing a harmless wanderer?!"

"If he's a wanderer, why's he staying here?!"  The man demanded, pouncing on Kaoru's words.

"Because it's his _HOME_, you thick-headed clod!"  Kaoru roared.  "He's staying here because it's his home!  It's what people normally do in the places they occupy!"

Kenshin's woebegone face brightened a bit at this declaration.

"Now, see here!"  The man growled, waving his sword in Kaoru's face.  "I've come here to challenge the Battousai to a fight, and I will have a fight!"

"What is your name, sir?"  The quiet question somehow managed to still everyone present, floating over the air and settling on the argument.  The man turned toward the porch, righteous pride in his actions as he straightened with a sniff.  Kaoru stuck her tongue out at his back, then turned her eyes to Kenshin, hoping to see him give her a brief smile for her audacity.

But he was not looking at her.  He was watching the stranger very steadily.  After a brief flash of hurt, Kaoru decided that she was glad that he didn't see her.  There was ice in his eyes that was unnerving, a look reserved normally for serious fights.  Kaoru blinked.  In fact, she hadn't seen that look in his eyes for a long time.  What had provoked that coldness from him?

Her eyes were caught away by the man's sword, which he had lifted again to point melodramatically at Kenshin.  Her heart leapt.  Moments before, the stranger had threatened her with it.  Were those cold eyes for her sake?

"I," The stranger announced pompously, "am Komachii Hiroji, and I've come to challenge you, Battousai!"

"Yes, I got that last part, that I did."  Kenshin murmured.  "Anything else?"

"Eh?"  Hiroji blinked at him.

"Well, why are you attacking this one?"  Kenshin prompted.

"Oh."  The man's confusion cleared, and his pride came blasting back.  "I am here to correct the wrongs done to my family!"

"Your family?"  Kenshin asked with a frown.  "And what have I done to your family?"

Hiroji's eyes flashed furiously.  Whatever else the man was, he had his pride, Kaoru noted.  "My father's name was Komachii Ieyasu, Battousai, and he was a loyal and steadfast supporter of the Ishin Shishi.  However, because he was suspected of shady dealings with the lower aspects of the Revolution, the Meiji government decided they didn't want him linked back to them.  So,"  His voice shook with fury, "YOU were ordered to assassinate him!"

Kenshin's frown deepened.  "I remember that assignment."  He said softly.

Kaoru stared at him.  Part of her was intrigued, another frightened.  Kenshin rarely spoke of his days of an assassin to anyone.  She and the rest of his "family" were the ones who knew the most, but even they were kept in the dark for most details.  If Kenshin was speaking about his former occupation to a complete stranger, the reason must have been a good one—or the memory especially strong.

"Then you confess!"  Hiroji exclaimed in a triumphant rage.  "Repent, then, and I will make your passing easy!"

"I do not confess."  Kenshin replied.  "I remember that assignment, and I remember refusing it."

"What?"  Hiroji stared at him, as did everyone else.

"It was one of the last orders I ever received, that it was."  Kenshin explained, his voice very quiet.  "Right after I decided never to kill again.  I hadn't disappeared yet, and the assassination assignments were still being handed out for 'clean-up' work."

There was a long silence for a moment as Kaoru read between the brief lines of Kenshin's clarification.  _*He must have received the order right after Tomoe's death…..*_Compassion for her red-haired Rurouni rose as she gazed at him.  This time, his eyes rose and found hers.  As he looked at her, lavender gaze carefully expressionless, he seemed to suddenly stand a bit taller, like a great weight had been lifted.  Indeed, he offered her a small smile of thanks before turning his attention back to Hiroji.

Kaoru felt like singing.

Hiroji, however, was not buying Kenshin's story.

"Liar!"  He spluttered furiously.  "You are a lying murderer, Battousai!  Who can trust the word of an assassin?!  You killed my father in cold-blood, and you feel no regret!  Repent, damn you!  Repent and die!"

"I am sorry you do not believe me, that I am."  Kenshin apologized, his eyes regaining their bright spark of life.  "And I do regret your father's passing, that I do.  But I am not responsible for his death.  Please, give up your search, and go home.  Do honor to the family you have left."

"There are none left!"  Hiroji spat.  "My mother killed herself a year after my father's murder!  My brothers went to avenge his death by fighting in the Boshin War, and all are dead or missing!  I am the only one left to take vengeance for my father and my family!"

"You are mad with grief, I understand."  Kenshin said soothingly, raising his hands.  "But this mindless attacking does no good, that it does not."

"Shut up!"  The man screamed, and now it seemed that Kaoru could see the haze of insanity in his eyes.  "Shut up and accept responsibility for their deaths!"

"No one can be blamed for your family's deaths."  Kenshin moved forward slightly, ready to step off the porch and comfort the man.

"My father's murderer can."  Hiroji said angrily.  "YOU can."

"But this one is not his killer!"  Kenshin said helplessly, beginning to understand that he was unable to reach through to his attacker.

"Silence!"  The man bellowed.  "You will receive your punishment!"  His sword raised, and his stance shifted into a fighting style.

A cold wind whipped through Kaoru's hair.  She started at the sudden chilly touch on the back of her neck, glancing up at the sky in astonishment.  Thick black storm clouds were rolling overhead now, accompanied by the occasional soft rumble of thunder.  Studying them, Kaoru felt an ominous twinge in the pit of her stomach.

Her movement had caught Hiroji's eye.  His head swiveled on a thick brawny neck to stare at her, beady eyes clever.  "You!"  He barked.  "What are you to this man?"  He jerked his head back at Kenshin.

Kaoru's eyes narrowed at him, and she haughtily tossed her head.  "I'm his—"  She hesitated, and glanced at Kenshin uncertainly.  What WERE she and Kenshin, anyhow?  Friends?  Companions?  Something more? 

Kenshin regarded her intently, no emotion showing in his soft purple eyes.  He seemed more interested in her answer than Hiroji was.  But no hint of his feelings warmed his eyes.  He would not let his heart influence her words.

Kaoru took a deep breath.  "I'm—well—for my part, he's the dearest person in my world."  She blushed as she said it, but did not let her eyes skitter away.

A faint, well held-back smile blossomed on Kenshin's face like the sun breaking over a chilly winter dawn.  The look he gave her was still very reserved, but even she could see the pleasure in it.  Her insecurity vanished into joy as she returned his smile.

Hiroji saw the look that passed between them, and he read what even Kenshin could not see in Kaoru's face, and saw how his eyes lit up on her.

"Huh."   He grunted.  "No accounting for taste."  

"Why, you—"

As Kaoru sputtered indignantly, he turned back around to face her.  Her protests were silenced as his sword tip came within an inch of her nose.  Kenshin's smile disappeared, and he grew very still, eyes fixed on the sword.

"So," Hiroji drawled.  "This girl is your woman, is she not, Battousai?"

Kaoru froze, stunned beyond words.  His woman?  Another of Kenshin's challengers had called her that once.  While inwardly she was somewhat delighted to hear herself referred to as such, even if it wasn't true, there was a matter of honor to think of.

"His WOMAN?!  I beg your pardon, but you make me sound like a possession!  Keep your rude remarks to yourself, pig!"

She did not renounce the name, though, which both Kenshin and Kaoru observed absentmindedly.

 "Quiet."  The sword tip tapped her nose lightly.  Kaoru squeaked and silenced herself again.  For a brief moment, the blade's sharpness had slid along her skin, and the feel of it was enough to put her back on her guard.

"You will not touch Miss Kaoru with your blade again, that you will not."  Kenshin said quietly, his eyes beginning to glare at Hiroji.

"Kenshin—" Sanosuke began, not liking the way this was going at all (and feeling a little left out).  Kenshin's eyes flashed at him, and he wisely quieted.

"Really?"  Hiroji smiled; it was not a nice smile.  "Battousai, since you took my family away from me, it seems a fitting punishment that I take yours away, doesn't it?"  His blade drew back and pointed to the hollow of Kaoru's throat.  "Starting with her."

Sanosuke and Yahiko both simultaneously swore at Hiroji.  "Coward."  Yahiko muttered.  "Let me meet you in the dojo and we'll see who will beat who!"  Kaoru carefully and quietly bent her knees and prepared herself.  If he stabbed, she could probably deflect it or dodge so that it would only cut and not do permanent damage—

"You," Kenshin said icily, "will NOT touch Miss Kaoru with your blade again.  That you will NOT."

The world seemed to stand still.  Kaoru's eyes, which had been eyeing the blade very attentively for the past tense moments, raised to look at him.

 Kenshin's eyes had narrowed and frozen into an icy violet that was nearly burning with its power.  For a moment, it seemed a speck of gold could be seen in their depths.

Kaoru drew in a breath.  _*Oh, no.*_

Kenshin had gotten mad.

With careful precision, Kenshin moved forward, stepping off the porch.  His usually relaxed figure was hardening into the predatory glide that she had so rarely seen.  Those wintry eyes were fixed on Hiroji and his blade.  For a moment, they made eye contact, and Kaoru saw an unholy rage that was dying to break free before Kenshin's eyes broke away.  Her breath came in a startled gasp—he wasn't just mad, he was furious!

For a moment, she felt a touch of gratification that her safety could provoke that kind of reaction.  What lingered even longer was the strange feeling that had sprung up when his eyes had latched onto her.  In the midst of his tightly-contained rage, she had felt some deep part of Kenshin look at her in approval and in fierce protectiveness, and that gave her the peculiar feeling that someone had started a fire in her heart that scorched its way up and down her form with a pleasant heat.

_*Well,*_ she thought, strangely serene even with a sword less than three inches away from her neck, _*at least I know he cares.*_

"Your quarrel is with this one, that it is."  Kenshin asserted evenly, halting just in front of Hiroji and glaring up at him.  "Keep it that way."

Hiroji looked down at the petite ex-assassin in bewilderment.  For a second, it seemed he would abandon his fight in the face of such an intimidating adversary.  But then his will hardened, and the mist of insanity clouded his mind.  "Fine."  He sneered, removing his sword from Kaoru and bringing it to face Kenshin.  "Fine.  Then let us begin, Battousai."

"Kenshin—"  Sanosuke began, moving forward.  "This is stupid, we can just get the police—"

"Thank you, Sano."  Kenshin replied evenly, not looking at the ex-fighter-for-hire.  "But I would prefer to handle this myself, that I would."

"But—"

Whatever was in the look that Kenshin sent him, it was enough to silence Sanosuke.  He fell back slightly, shoving his hands into his pockets and scowling.

Kaoru bit her lip.  Something about this wasn't right.  She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but a part of Kenshin seemed to be missing.  Something she had never seen him without, some vital part………

The two enemies had moved apart, getting a comfortable and customary between them to begin the battle.  Kenshin's eyes were still iced over, she could tell, but now they were half-hidden beneath the shadows of his scarlet hair.  Hiroji was fingering his sword, a small, crazy smile on his face.  A shudder ran down her spine as she saw that smile—too many of Kenshin's opponents had worn that same look.

She turned to size up Kenshin.  He seemed normal, but there was definitely something missing………

Kenshin crouched, moving back into his fighting stance.  His hand moved back to his left thigh to grasp his sword—then he froze, disbelief lancing through him.

Kaoru saw him start.  She clapped a hand to her mouth as she realized what he was missing, then slowly turned around to search the yard.

Sure enough, Kenshin's sakabatou was lying in the dust by the empty laundry basket.

Kenshin ground his teeth as he followed Kaoru's gaze to see his sword.  That might complicate matters, if Hiroji happened to take offense………

"Are you ready, Battousai?"  Hiroji demanded eagerly.

"Actually,"  Kenshin said easily, fighting the urge to either blush or stammer, as this would have not been very menacing, "I left my sword on the other side of the yard, so if you'll excuse me, I can get it and we can continue from there."  He began to stride past the man, eyes riveted to the dusty, worn black sheath of his sakabatou.  *_Don't think anything of this, it's totally natural for a man to get his sword before a duel—*_

"Wait."

Kenshin sighed in exasperation as his sight was suddenly obscured by the edge of a blade held a few scant inches from his face.  "Yes?"  He asked as politely as was possible under the circumstances.

Hiroji was scrutinizing him suspiciously.  This was not a good sign.  "Why didn't you have your sword with you?"  He asked apprehensively, moving his sword an inch closer.

Kenshin moved to duck under the sword.  "Because I put it aside when I was doing the laundry."

The sword moved with him.  "The laundry."

Kenshin attempted to dodge it again.  "Yes.  The laundry."

Again, the sword slipped in front of him.  "Ha!"  Hiroji crowed, shoving himself at Kenshin so that the swordsman had to bend backwards to avoid being scalped.  "I see through your trick now, Battousai!  You cannot fool me!  What kind of a man does the laundry?  It is a foolish excuse!"

"That's what we've been telling him for months."  Yahiko muttered under his breath.

"You merely wish to make me lower my guard and attack me from behind!"  Hiroji continued.  He was beginning to foam slightly at the mouth.  "Well, I will not have it, Battousai!  I will not be taken in by your treachery!"  And with that, he lunged at the smaller man, swinging his sword passionately.

Kenshin sidestepped and spread his hands appealingly.  "But sir, if you'll just look—"  Another swipe made Kenshin hastily step back and stop his words.  Hiroji was on him, and from the bright gleam in his eyes, clearly unable to hear a word his opponent was saying.  He was in a battle rage accompanied by insanity, and there would be no stopping him now.

And what was worse, the man wasn't half bad with a sword.  Nothing special, nothing that couldn't be dodged—but it would be harder to defeat him with only fists, that it would.  Kenshin sighed in resignation and put his mind to the task of outwitting and defeating the fanatic.

From the sidelines, Kaoru's heart was thumping wildly in her chest.  She, too, had seen that the man had had some training in swordsmanship.  And his fervor and desire to kill Kenshin was making him fast and unpredictable, with no style or control to his movements.  Kenshin could predict his movements, yes, but it was easier to predict movements if you had an idea of the pattern the enemy was following.  Hiroji followed no pattern, and thus, though he was much less skilled than many of Kenshin's other foes, he was dangerous.

"Sano,"  She whispered, not doubting that her adopted brother could hear her.

"Yeah, Kaoru?"

"Is—is Kenshin in danger?"

"I don't know."  Sanosuke said carefully.  "He's faced a lot worse—"

"Sano, please don't dodge the question."

Sanosuke sighed.  "Yeah, Jou-chan.  Kenshin's in danger."  His eyes carefully concentrated on the fight.

Kaoru felt like someone had hit her a blow to the gut.  "How?"  She managed to say, wincing as her voice came out almost as a whimper.

Sanosuke slowly drew in a breath.  "Enishi.  Shishio.  They've slowed him down a bit, Kaoru.  Megumi's told you enough about that."

"But he's strong enough, right?"  Kaoru demanded.  "He isn't going to—to drop dead or anything, is he?!"

"Hell, Kaoru, don't worry about _that_!"  Sano waved his hand impatiently.  "Nah, he'll live, as long as he doesn't go and get himself in another massive fight anytime soon.  He's still better than anyone in Japan, I'll bet.  But he's still recovering from his wounds—it's only been a few weeks since your rescue, after all.  So naturally he's going to be a bit slower."  His voice was clipped and very matter-of-fact, but deep down inside Sanosuke was as worried as Kaoru was.  Kenshin was moving very slowly—for him, that is, since he was still managing to move beyond what normal eyes could pick up.  But weariness and strain were evident in him, and even though there was no contest, Kenshin's strength still needed a great deal of building up.

On the battlefield, Kenshin winced inside as he spun to avoid another frantic slice.  That one back wound was going to need stitching again at this rate—he ducked in time to feel Hiroji's blade whistle just overhead and slice the ends off his hair.  He ground his teeth in frustration as Hiroji turned his blade and continued the arc back at him.

This was going to be a long, tedious fight at this rate.  Hiroji was just fast and erratic enough that he could never find an open spot in time, unless he wanted to just snap the man's spinal cord in half, which was beginning to become a very intriguing possibility.  Since he could not attack, the only other option was to eventually wear the man down—which wasn't a very attractive option, because Hiroji's battle-lust was not slaking and Kenshin doubted it would run out any time soon.

Kaoru nervously shifted back and forth.  "Maybe I should intervene."  She said quietly.  "I could probably beat him with my bokken—"

"Don't even THINK about it, Jou-chan."  Sanosuke snorted, laying a very firm hand on her shoulder.  "Kenshin would kick my ass if I let you get involved in one of his fights."

"I'm always involved in one of 'his' fights some way or another, Sano!"

"Well, if I let you get involved in ANOTHER of his fights, then."  He shot her a warning look as she glared back at him.  "NO, Kaoru.  You are not going to get yourself in trouble."

"But he's hurting himself!"  Kaoru exclaimed, wincing as Kenshin twisted in midair and landed crouched on the ground.  "Sano, you said yourself that he's still healing—this can't be helping—"

"He'll be FINE, Kaoru."  Sanosuke gritted out, letting himself get annoyed at his 'little sister' to keep his own fear from showing.

Kenshin dodged the next of Hiroji's slices with a movement of his shoulders that was going to make Megumi berate him for an hour the next time she got her claws on him.  He blinked a bit, moving his shoulder up and down and feeling yet another of his still-healing wounds reopen.  This fight wasn't nearly so light anymore—it was beginning to aggravate him.

Hiroji stabbed at him again.  Kenshin easily stepped sideways—

Fiery pain suddenly coursed through him, so intense that for a moment his eyes went blank as he tried to deal with the pain.  Spots danced in front of his vision as he slowly sank to the ground, trying desperately to figure out what had conjured this agony.

One hand raised to touch his right side.  As his fingers ran over the huge gash that was now beginning to seep blood, his mind flew back to the many battles he had been through.  Shishio, Enishi—how many had hit him in his side, in that one damned spot?  He dazedly wondered how on earth his body could have picked such a horrible time to turn rebellious and revamp all his old scars.

"I am in trouble, that I am."  Kenshin whispered, struggling back to his feet.  The blood from the wound was running down his side, turning the magenta gi into a deep scarlet.  He slowly raised his eyes to see what he knew would be there.

Hiroji loomed over him, his face a mask of delight.  "At last!"  He crowed, raising his sword.  "Vengeance is mine!"  The dull side of his sword flipped over to point downward, Hiroji raised it high and began to bring it down.

Kenshin did not try to dodge.  He didn't even attempt to move.  He just let the sword come crashing down onto his weary shoulders.  The pain that followed was just enough to let him sink back to the ground, nothing compared to the fire eating away at his side.  He sat up slowly, letting his red hair fall slowly in front of his eyes.  Instead of submission to destiny, as he always assumed would happen when he risked facing his end, a defiant spark was warming him.  This foe was going down—he just didn't know how yet.  And as Hiroji again raised his sword, Kenshin knew that he was running out of time to come up with a solution.

Kaoru did not see the delicacies of a battle, or the fact that Kenshin had never lost a fight.  She did not see that he was strong enough to overcome Hiroji no matter what odds.  She did not see that his mind was working furiously even as he endured the rain of blows that Hiroji now so thoughtfully bestowed on him.

All she knew was the Rurouni, her Kenshin, the man she had loved since the first day she knew him, was hurt, and badly so.  And that she was not going to let him leave her again.

Fury like nothing she had ever known was spiraling up from the depths of her soul, making her eyes blaze with an unholy glow.  As quick as she could, she had broken free of Sano's grip on her shoulder.  Ignoring his shout, she spun and raced towards the laundry basket, eyes centering in and focused on the sakabatou.

She slid to a halt by its hilt, and as lightning crackled overhead, she reached out and grasped it, letting her fingers slide along the handle.  A quiet groan from the fight made her turn back in time to see Kenshin suffer a particularly hard blow to his neck.

All thoughts and plans of action left her.  Instead a desire to attack, to ram her bokken into Hiroji, to make him regret ever laying his eyes on her dojo or HER wanderer, made her yank the sakabatou from its sheath.  Not hesitating a moment, she swung the sword up and began to sprint at Hiroji, hatred flaring in her eyes and blinding her to all but her blood-stained friend and love lying on the ground and his merciless attacker above.

Kenshin let himself entertain a few visions of what Battousai could do to this nut-case as the dull edge of Hiroji's blade thwacked along his ribs.  All right, this was getting very annoying.  He was going to deal with Hiroji now—

He tried to stand, and realized he couldn't.

_*Oh, dear.*_

Too much abuse.  His body had had enough.  His mind had been ruthlessly trained to ignore pain and work beyond it for all his life, but now that training would not let him see that he was actually suffering.  And now he could not feel his limbs at all.  Numbness from the bruises all over his body seeped through him.  He was paralyzed, unable to take any more.

Well, if this was dying, it wasn't so bad at least.  It was wrong to give up, but the thought of being able to rest for a while was so enchanting that he couldn't resist.

Detachedly, he watched Hiroji's blade swing up for what would be the final time.

_*You really messed this one up, didn't you?*_  He thought, vaguely amused that his life was going to end at the hands of a madman.  It seemed very appropriate, somehow.

Then he realized, with some distress, _*Miss Kaoru is not going to be happy with this.*_

It was enough—more than enough—to get him moving again.  The warmth that spread through him when he thought of Kaoru fought back at the coldness.  With an enormous effort and a soft groan of pain, Kenshin let himself feel the pain of a hundred blows.

It hurt—heavens, it hurt.  But at least he could feel again.

Slowly, he began to raise himself from the ground.

Hiroji stared at him in bewilderment.  Kenshin was black and blue all over, blood was seeping from a dozen new and opened wounds, and his entire side was now saturated with blood.  And still this petite, slender, soft-looking man was rising.   Willing to continue fighting.

Had the man not been insane or perhaps had an ounce of sense left in him, he would have dropped his sword and hightailed it out of there.  But Hiroji's mind had been lost in madness for years, and so it was that he again raised his sword to bring it down on his enemy.

Kenshin glared at his enemy, preparing for the next blow.

Hiroji's blade reached the apex of his reach—

Kenshin crouched, ready to defend—

The blade fell from Hiroji's slacked grip, and clattered to the ground.  A surprised look filled the man's face as his eyes went blank.  Slowly, almost gently, his body crumpled and crashed down.

Kenshin stared down at the corpse for a moment, mind uncomprehending.  Then his eyes slowly rose.

A heavy rain began to fall out of the storm clouds above.  Lightning flashed over head, accompanied by a boom of thunder.

Kaoru was standing in the mud a few feet away, just behind Hiroji's body.  Her eyes were wide with shock and a slowly growing and sickened horror.

And in her hands, the sakabatou's blade, reversed and upright, shone a slick, bloody red.

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Please review.


	3. Gold beneath the Amethyst, Amber beneath...

_::Waves::  Konnichiwa, everyone!_

_I'm so glad everyone seems to be enjoying this story!  ::sniffs::  I'm so proud..._

_Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, but I just housed a Japanese exchange student!  ::beams::  She left me today--::cries::--and so this chapter is dedicated to her.  Love you, Minami-chan._

_Anyway, this chapter really gets angsty.  I mean, _angsty.  _So if you're feeling depressed, don't read.  You have been warned._

_Remember, reviews are good!_

"..." denotes speaking

*...* denotes thoughts

_Disclaimer:  Kenshin is MINE.  So the rest of you can keep your hands OFF.  Watsuki is the only other one allowed to touch—and he only gets to have the story rights._

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Chapter 3—Gold beneath the Amethyst, Amber beneath the Blue

Darkness...

Mud on the ground...on her new kimono…she should have been more careful...the stains would never wash out…

Lightning flashed overhead. 

Her hands were stained too…dimly, she began to scrub at them, running her nails along her skin.  The rain was helping to make the scarlet go away…why was the mud red?

There was the red…lying in the mud.  Rain and red, mixed together.  Mud wasn't red, she was sure.  Where had the red come from?

Oh…from her…what did she do?

Blood.

The metallic scent hit her, one the rain could not wash away.  Copper and iron, the smell of death.

Blood.

Whose blood?  Hers?

She didn't think she was bleeding…

No.  From the man over there.  From the blade.  The blade in her hands.

But this sword isn't supposed to kill…

Guilt welled up in her.  She had stained Kenshin's sword with blood.  He was going to be so upset with her.  He wasn't supposed to use it to kill.  Tomoe had told him that.

Kill?

That's right.  That man over there is dead.

He's getting wet.

Does it matter?  Can corpses feel?

I killed him.

…

I _killed_ him. 

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

The scream ripped out of her and shattered her world, spinning her into hell.  Kenshin's sword—she had used it—it wasn't supposed to—she wasn't supposed to—Kamiya Kasshin Ryu—sword that protects—no killing—no killing—

Hazily, she realized that she was beating on the ground, her hands splattering blood and mud all over her.  She ran her hands frantically up and down her arms, trying to shuck the blood off, then she cringed and held her hands as far away as she could.  The blood from the sword had run off with the arrival of the rain and coated her hands.  It seemed already that the red liquid had soaked into her skin, never to be removed.  Scarlet hands, bloody hands, murderer's hands—

She shrieked again, her cry mingling with the crack of lightning overhead.  "No!  NO!"  She had broken her vow and her father's sacred belief.  She had raised a sword to kill—and she had accomplished that task.

Despair and a powerful self-hatred were coursing through her veins.  She was dirty—how could she have done this?  Her father's beloved fighting style.  Kenshin's sword.  All ruined.  All because of her.

With a wretched sob, she fell forward, wrapping her arms around her legs and curling up as tight as possible on the muddy ground.  Her eyes were wild and terrified, and shuddering breaths shook her entire form.  She stared ahead to the dead body, the figure of the man she had killed, and again a terrible wave of disgust flooded her.

_Murderer_.  _I'm a murderer._

Strong hands suddenly wrapped themselves around her arms, forcing her upright.  She ignored them, tried to sink back down to the ground.  When they would not release her, she began to try to twist out of their grip, uttering tiny cries as she fought her captor.  She wanted to be let go, she wanted to sink in, to die, to be buried in the ground where she lay.

An urgent voice seemed to be shouting at her from far, far away.  Interested, she strained to hear, but could not make out the words over the heavy pattering of the rain.  The hands latched on her arms shook her; and her head lolled loosely from side to side on her shoulders.

"Go away," She muttered, shoving at the arms.  "Go _away_…!"  She wanted to be left alone; she wanted to think, to try to understand.  Why couldn't they let her be?

_Kaoru!_

She ignored the voice, her eyes still riveted on the corpse in front of her.  Hiroji, that had been his name.  Hiroji without a family.  No one to mourn at his funeral.  Should she come?  Did they allow your killer at funerals?

_Jou-chan!  Kaoru!_

Murderer.  Death had seemed terrible before — now it was ten times worse.  Now she was on the giving end instead of near-receiving.  She thought of the way that the sword had moved, so satisfyingly, so quickly and smoothly, through the flesh of the man's back.  A shudder wracked her thin form, and she bit back another scream.

_"Miss Kaoru!"_

Kaoru blinked.  She couldn't see Hiroji anymore.  She blinked again.  She couldn't see anything.  Just...

Amethyst.  Beautiful, soft, worried, concerned, frightened, anxious, heated, loving amethyst.

_Kenshin..._

"Kenshin?"

Kenshin breathed a sigh of relief.  Kaoru's eyes had focused in on his face.  The muddled, petrified look she had worn now held a hint of recognition.  She stared at him, unblinking, as if trying to memorize his features.  Her hand rose slowly from her side to run her fingers over the side of his face, lightly tracing his scar.  "Kenshin."  She repeated, assurance in her voice now.

"Yes, yes, Miss Kaoru, it's me, I'm here..."  Kenshin soothed, reaching up to take her hand in his.  His other hand moved down her arm to grasp her other hand, holding them both tightly.  "I'm here...I'm right here..."  A gentle, comforting smile was on his face, carefully obscuring his thoughts.

Inside his mind, though, he was in chaos.  How could he have been so careless?  He had waited and delayed, not wanting to cause harm, hoping the man would tire out...and now Miss Kaoru...

He should have knocked that _bastard_ out the minute he sensed his presence in the yard.  He should have remembered what happened every other time that a madman got within fifty yards of his friends.  Kaoru—the innocent child, the sweet, warm young woman—had taken on a scar that he should have been the bearer of.

He ran his hand in soothing circles around her back, trying hard not to show the tempest of emotions flaring in him.  Miss Kaoru's honor and beliefs had always meant so much to her—it was because of that non-killing belief that they had met in the first place.  Where he had vowed to never kill again, Miss Kaoru had vowed to never kill in the first place.  Now that she had…

_*This is going to be painful, that it is.  Miss Kaoru…*_

"Kenshin?"

Startled, he glanced down, quickly subduing his temper.  Kaoru was peering up at him through soaked black bangs, her blue eyes still misty with shock.

"You're hurt."  She quietly pointed out, moving her eyes down to stare at the wound at his side.

"It doesn't matter."  Kenshin responded, trying to get her gaze away from his injury.  The less she thought right now, the easier it would be for her to understand later.  From experience, he knew—it was always better to never think about an assassination until you were washed clean of all physical evidence of your deed.

"Did I do that too?"

He inwardly cringed; so much for that idea.  "No, Miss Kaoru."

"Oh."  She sighed, lowering her head so that her dark hair fell in front of her features.  Kenshin began to absently rub her back again as she whimpered softly.  Behind her, he saw Sanosuke and Yahiko giving him worried looks.  He tried to summon a smile, and found he couldn't.

"Will Jou-chan be okay, Kenshin?"  Sanosuke asked quietly, glancing concernedly down at his friend.

Kenshin did not reply.

After a few moments of silence save for Kaoru's moans, Yahiko nervously shifted.  "I think—um—should I go get Megumi?"  His tough voice was firmly back in place, but there was the slightest quaver of tears in the otherwise brash tones.

Kenshin stirred, and looked up at Yahiko.  "Hai, Yahiko.  I think that would be a very good idea."  

"Right.  Okay."  Yahiko hesitated another moment, giving his teacher a worried look, before turning and running into the cold, wet streets.

Kenshin watched him go impassively, then spoke without looking back.  "Sano?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you go to my room and get the blanket off my bed?  I don't want Kaoru getting a chill from this rain."

"No problem."  Faking nonchalance, Sanosuke stuffed his hands deep into his pockets and retreated into the dojo.

Kenshin waited until he heard the shoji door slide close before turning back to his wretched protector.  "Miss Kaoru?"  He inquired softly.  She stirred slightly in his arms, and seemed to tilt her head slightly up towards him.  He took it as a sign she was listening.  "We need to get inside, Miss Kaoru.  It's very cold out here—we don't want you to get sick." 

Kaoru somehow seemed to wilt in his arms.  She lowered her head again and buried it in his lap.  Her voice whispered something, her lips moving gently across his knees as she spoke too quietly for him to hear.  Kenshin stared down at her, confused.  "Miss Kaoru?"

"I can't."  She murmured again, slightly louder.

Instantly, Kenshin was bending frantically over her.  "Why?  What happened?  Miss Kaoru, are you injured?  Did he hurt you?  Are your legs weak?  Do you feel ill?  What's wrong?"

"Mou..."  She shook her head, not looking up at him.  "It's not that.  I'm not hurt, so please don't worry."

"But why won't you go in?"  Kenshin asked, bewildered, leaning down to try and see into Kaoru's face.  Kaoru only pressed her face into his hakama-clad legs and stayed silent.

"Miss Kaoru?"

She still did not speak.  Helpless anger and fear turned Kenshin's voice sharp.  "Miss_ Kaoru_, if you please, I would like to know why you will not go inside, that I would."

Kaoru sighed in frustration.  "_Because_—"  She flung her head back to stare up at him, pain and anguish shining in her dark midnight eyes, "—if I go inside, I'll be out of the rain, ne?  And that means I'll be warm.  And comfortable."  Though her face was expressionless, disgust thickened her voice and turned it dark.

"But that—"  Kenshin closed his eyes and bowed his head, unable to look at her.  The reality of how much this truly meant to Kaoru was beginning to crash in on him, and the realization was so enormous that it took him a moment to comprehend.  He struggled hard to keep his emotions in check, knowing that rage would not help anyone now.  His tone when he spoke, however, could not regain the rurouni's easy lilt, and instead settled into his normal, deeper tenor.  

"You think you don't deserve to be comfortable."

 She sighed.  "No.  No, I don't."

The world began to spin.  "Unworthiness…"  He raised a hand to his temples and massaged them slowly.  "Oro."  He muttered, feeling dizzy.  This was certainly _not_ going to go well at all, that it was not.  Even with himself, it had taken several murders until the self-hatred hit.  Kaoru's purity had been so sacred to her though, she was unable to deal with this kind of taint in an accepting and calm mind.  So she would immediately turn to hurting herself.

Damn, damn, _damn._

"Kenshin?"

He glanced down.  Kaoru was looking up at him, a concerned look on her face.  "Kenshin, are you all right?  You should go inside—it's nasty out here."  She slowly raised a bloodstained hand and rested it on his cheek, her awareness of its color lost in her worry for the wanderer.

Kenshin closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the feel of her skin brushing against his.  Then his eyelids slowly opened, and he gazed at Kaoru steadily.  "It _is_ nasty out here, Miss Kaoru.  But as long as you are out here, then I believe that I should stay with you and make sure you are all right, that I do."  To make his point, he settled in comfortably against the mucky ground, careful not to jar Kaoru from the position she still occupied on his lap.  Any other day, he would have been flustered at the physical proximity between them, but the desire to protect Miss Kaoru far outweighed any gentlemanly protests he might have at the current moment.  He was going to supply her with any comfort he could, that he was.

Kaoru was not thrilled with this idea.  "Kenshin, don't be ridiculous, it's _pouring_—please go inside.  I'll be fine out here."  To show that she would have no problems in remaining in the storm, she tried to relax her muscles to lay more comfortably against the ground.  But with the dead man—her victim—only a few feet away, her attempts at ease did not go so well.  When she tried to recline, she would find herself staring at his slowly-stiffening body, which would make her shudder and lose her position.  In the end, she was back in the same arrangement that she had started in, looking up at Kenshin who was watching her impassively.  "See?"  She asked, her voice shaky.  "Perfectly fine.  Please go in."

"No, that I will not."  Kenshin spoke quietly.  Kaoru turned her gaze down, unable to look into those knowing amethyst eyes of his.  "You're hurting, Miss Kaoru.  And it would not be right to leave you alone like this, that it would not."

"Are you afraid I'll do something to hurt myself?"  She asked with a grim humor.

"Yes, I am."

Kaoru flinched.  So...already, he had lost that much trust.  Already he thought she was pathetic and weak, and needed to be coddled and hidden in shame from the rest of the world.  The fact that she was hurting herself already was one that she brushed aside.   

A defiant anger sparked in her and she glared up at him.  "Well, I won't."

"Miss Kaoru—"

"I don't need to you _baby_ me, Kenshin!"  Her voice rose to a roar.  "I _know_ what you must think of me, but I won't be treated like a criminal that you thrust away into a dark corner to forget about!"  She threw her head back and glared at him, her fury spiraling unstoppably up from the pit of her soul.  She wanted to shake him, to make him hurt, to force him to see her as she really _was—_

Her eyes met his concerned gaze.

At once, Kenshin sucked in a breath.  His expression went from worried to stunned and then, carefully, blank and emotionless.  Only his eyes showed any feeling, glimmering at her with some strange mix of anxiety, fierce wrath, and…

_Fear…?_

Sensing that she was looking too deep into him, Kenshin withdrew his stare, choosing instead to gaze out over the rain-washed yard.   He fought to keep his face distant, to keep the thoughts that were whirling inside his head from breaking free.

Kaoru's rage faded as quickly as it had exploded.  Terrified, she clutched at Kenshin's arm, needing to reassure herself that he hadn't run away.  "What did you see?"  She whispered, shaking him.  "Kenshin, _what did you see?!"_

Kenshin still would not look at her.  His jaw was clenched, and he seemed to be struggling to keep his focus distant.

"_Kenshin!"_

 With a rough sigh, Kenshin turned back toward her, unable to deny his Kaoru in any request.  She shoved away the soaked bangs that clung to his face, brushing them recklessly to the side.  She grabbed both sides of his face in her hands and refused to let him turn away, letting her eyes bore into his, trying to see what he had seen for that brief instant.

Wretchedly, miserably, Kenshin let her stare into his eyes and read what was hidden there.

There was a long moment of silence.

Kaoru carefully released his face, her movements slow with stunned horror.  Kenshin turned his face away too late, again hiding his eyes beneath his hair and a blank mask of his features.  He fixed his eyes on the rain splattering in a puddle close by, marking how each drop sent out its individual ripples.

"There was gold there, wasn't there."

Kenshin sucked in a harsh breath, and let it out in a pained hiss.  "Yes."

Kaoru felt what was left of her sanity beginning to crumble.  "The eyes of a assassin."  She murmured faintly, feeling the world whirl around her.

Kenshin stiffened as if he'd been stung.  He turned back towards her, eyes furious, opening his mouth to speak—

"Kenshin!"

Yahiko burst into the dojo, his clothes soaked with rain and mud but still managing to look triumphant.  Close on his heels came a colorful umbrella, carried by a beautiful young woman who looked completely out of breath but also as if she had just been taking a very fast summer evening stroll.

"Miss Megumi."  Kenshin stated, rising to his feet and not bothering to conceal his relief.  "I am pleased you could make it so quickly, that I am."

"My pleasure, Sir Ken."  Megumi said, for once not flirtatious.  Her eyes speedily scanned the yard, lingering over the dead man's form and Kaoru's hunched body.  The disapproval and accusation was evident on her face as she turned back to frown at Kenshin.  "I suppose you'll be leaving town soon, then?"  She asked abruptly.

"Oro?"  Kenshin blinked at her in confusion.

"Kenshin," Megumi spoke patiently, as if to a very young and stupid child.  "You don't want to go to jail, do you?  And, of course, you'll have to go wandering...you violated your oath, and from what I've heard—"

Kenshin ran a hand through his thick locks, touching his fingers to his temples.  "Ah.  Miss Megumi, so please you, I am not responsible for..."  He gestured at the bloody scene.

"Oh!"   Megumi flushed.  "Oh, Sir Ken, of course not!  I'm so sorry for suspecting—it's just, Yahiko didn't exactly give me details—" Kenshin shot Yahiko a look; the apprentice fidgeted uneasily.  It was obvious that the young boy was also having difficulty accepting what had transpired in their peaceful home.

"So," Megumi went on, relaxing and approaching the red-haired wanderer, "what exactly happened here, might I ask?"

"It was an accident."  Kenshin said awkwardly, trying to send her a warning glance without Kaoru noticing.

 "Well, I should hope so."  Megumi said with a ladylike sniff.  "But what kind?  Did Sanosuke win money and someone followed him home to rob him?  Was this man hurt in a fight?  Or did the Tanuki finally go too far?"

Kenshin bit back a growl as he felt Kaoru flinch behind him.  She could clearly hear every word that the lady doctor was saying, and Megumi was undoubtedly not helping.  "Miss Megumi."  He bit out.  "I must ask that you treat this situation seriously and _professionally_."

 Megumi waved him off with a flip of her hair.  "Yes, of course, Sir Ken.  But really, I must know what happened, if I can be expected to properly treat any wounded."  She flipped open her doctor's bag and eyed him expectantly.  "Well?"

Kenshin sighed.  "Miss Megumi—I do not think that the story is best told here and now..."

"Sir Ken, you are being perfectly absurd."  Megumi favored him with an annoyed glance before a look of mischief came into her eyes.  With a quick side step, she had bypassed him, and was bending in front of Kaoru.  "Since you won't tell, maybe our favorite little girl will.  Well, Tanuki?"  She smirked at Kaoru's nickname and reached out to give her a patronizing pat.

"Miss _Megumi_—"

Before anyone could stop her, Kaoru's hand had swung up and swatted Megumi's reach away, grabbing onto the older woman's wrist firmly.  Megumi gasped at the speed of the movement, then all breath left her as Kaoru raised her head.

The two women stared at each other.  Megumi's shock appeared plainly on her face, and there was no little portion of apprehension mixed in as well.  Kaoru did not release her wrist; her gaze was both defiant and pleading, and she seemed to be begging Megumi for something.

After a few minutes, Megumi straightened with a deep breath.  She tugged her wrist free of Kaoru's grip and half-turned away.  Kaoru's face shuttered into darkness, and she appeared to be ready to shatter.

Then Megumi turned back, one palm raised.  In her outstretched hand there lay several bandages and medicinal plants that she had fetched from the bag at her side.  Without a word, she dropped her umbrella and knelt in the mud, and drew one of Kaoru's tightly clenched hands out from where it was buried in her lap.  As she uncurled the fingers, she barely even blinked at the blood that coated each digit.  She carefully began to wipe the young instructor's hands clean, her hands gentle on her skin.

Kaoru bit her lip as she looked down at Megumi's bowed head.  Gratitude and relief undid the tenseness in her face and limbs, and under the lady doctor's administrations, the first hint of a returning life shone in her dark eyes.

Kenshin also relaxed as he watched Megumi work.  For a moment there, he was worried that he would have had to interfere.  If Megumi had been repulsed or frightened by Kaoru's current state, she would have been kicked out of the dojo without an invitation to return at a later date.  Her acceptance had done more for Kaoru right then than anything else could have.  With every loving attention that her family gave her, Kaoru was led more and more on the path towards recovery.  All they needed to do was continue with this gentle treatment—

"Mr. Himura?"

_Oh, no ...Kami-sama, not now..._

With a spark of gold flaring in his eyes, Kenshin turned to face the entrance to the dojo.

A full squadron of police officers stood there, looking frightened but resolved.  All carried loaded and cocked guns, and each seemed ready to fire at a moment's notice.  The police chief himself was there with a grave, serious look on his face.  And at the police chief's side...

_Oh,_ damn.

Hajime Saito flicked the brim of his police hat back as he smirked down.  "Hello, Battousai."

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Please review.


	4. The Wolf Intervenes

_Konbanwa!_

_Sorry it took this long to get this chapter out, everyone.  I've been uber-busy lately, though.  Suffice to say, it took a sick day to give me time to update._

_::goes teary-eyed::  But—but—but—I have reviews!  My wonderful reviewers!  Thank you so much!  ::glomps::_

_I apologize for the quality of this chapter, if it leads something to be desired.  Parts of it were written in an algebra-induced seizure._

_Remember—read and review!_

"…" denotes speaking.

*…* denotes thoughts__

_DISCLAIMER:  Kenshin would like to say that he belongs to no one—however, he is tied up in my closet right now, and in no mood to object when I say that he is MINE._

_Watsuki, however, owns the manga and anime.  So no lawsuits, if you please._

_This chapter is dedicated to my mother, for giving me encouragement when my Muse was on hiatus._

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Chapter Four

"So what time did you say that the intruder entered your dojo?"

"About half an hour ago…officer."  Sanosuke replied, his dislike of police officers surfacing in his surly words.

"And you did not think to call for us at that time?"

Sanosuke's lip curled.  "If we did _that_ every time we had an intruder, you lot would spend your entire days camped out in the front yard!"  Under his breath, he finished, "For all the good it would do…"

"We were distracted, sir."  Kenshin interceded quietly, placing a cautioning hand on Sano's shoulder.

"It certainly seems so."  Saito's cold voice cut over the clamor that the rest of the police were making in the investigation.  His sideways glance at Kenshin spoke volumes, and none of it was good.

Kenshin returned the look, matching his old adversary's demeanor with an iciness of his own.  The accusations against himself, he did not mind so much.  But Saito was too close to the porch where Miss Kaoru was still being treated and quietly comforted by Miss Megumi and Yahiko.  

_If that man gets any closer to her, then vows be damned—I'll throw him in the river if I have to!_

Fortunately, Saito seemed more interested in antagonizing him then in seeking the cause of the crime.  This was good…yes, this could work out quite nicely to his advantage.

Kaoru was sitting on the porch with her knees tucked beneath her, watching the process going on in her yard with a keen interest.  The policemen were very careful about going over every detail and inch of the ground…it'd be so much easier if they just asked direct questions.

Then again…

The bile rose in her throat as her eyes latched onto the pale white sheet that was draped carefully in the middle of the yard.  Splotches of blood had stained it red in some parts, just enough to show what the extent of his wounds had been.  Since it was still raining the cloth had been saturated, and now it was molded perfectly to Hiroji's form.  

Kaoru shuddered.  Then again, she was grateful she was not being forced to answer to a policeman's questioning.  She doubted if she would be able to speak right now without screaming.

"Miss Kaoru?"

All rising nightmares were banished in those two words.  She raised her face to see the red-haired and sopping wet wanderer in front of her, and the misery in her eyes melted into serenity.   She gave him the barest hint of a smile, hoping to ease the pain and tension she saw in his eyes.  Without a word, she offered him an extra towel that had been resting at her side.

Kenshin accepted it gravely.  With a quick movement, he was on the porch a few feet away from her.  He shook himself slightly like a dog, trying to remove excess water, and wrung out his hair before wrapping the towel around his shoulder and sitting beside her.

Kaoru's lips quirked up at the corners.  "You made a very good effort to not get me wet."

Kenshin winked at her.  "I didn't think Miss Kaoru would appreciate a bath."  Then he grew serious.  "Are you feeling all right?  Shall this one ask the officers to leave?"

"Could you just get Saito out?"  Kaoru joked, guiltily relaxing in the warm aura that her wanderer was surrounded in.

Kenshin nodded and began to rise.

"Kenshin, I was just kidding.  Sit down, I don't need to cause any more trouble than I already have."  Again her eyes strayed to the shrouded corpse, and a cloud drew across her brows.

Kenshin saw this.  With a gentle movement, he took one of Kaoru's hands and drew it out, cradling it carefully in both of his own.  Sufficiently distracted, Kaoru glanced back at him, shock in her eyes.  With the most courteous respect he could manage, Kenshin began to lightly run his fingers over her hand, trying to soothe the young woman at his side.  Kaoru slowly relaxed, and even went so far as to let her head droop and her shoulders unwind, drawing her close to his body.  Kenshin shifted his form, silently offering; she took the invitation, and laid her head down in the crook of his shoulder.  

For a moment, the two rested together.  There was no thoughts of their mutual integrities or honor or respectability.  There was only a complete understanding between two people, pain on one side and compassion on the other.  She was hurting, and his help would aid both of them.  And for a brief second, they forgot indeed that there was anything wrong in the world.

"Mr. Himura?  Sir, the investigation is wrapping up.  Would you like us to remove the deceased now?"

With that, the moment was broken.   Kaoru leapt surreptitiously away, mentally berating herself for allowing lax.  _Fool!  Would you hurt him, would you tarnish him and demand more than he's already given?  Solve your problems on your own—don't hurt them as well!_

Kenshin, strangely, had not moved.  Nor did he seem all that upset about the possibility of having others see them.  Kaoru peeked out at him from beneath his lashes, trying to decipher the calm look on his face.  He seemed almost…well, one couldn't say happy, but…more peaceful than he had been, perhaps.

"Thank you, sir.  Yes, I believe that we would all like to see the yard cleaned up."  Kenshin said politely, half-bowing to the policeman even as he reclined back.  Inwardly, he released a long breath.  _Phew…almost done.  Now, if they would just leave without making this any more painful—_

The policeman nodded and turned away.  "Fine.  There's only one more thing then—Lieutenant Fujita would like a few private questions."

Kenshin waited until the man was out of earshot before envisioning what the young man would look like after Sano got through with him.  He wrestled with the swiftly rising antagonism.  There was no need to be angry at that officer…he was just doing his job…

"Battousai."

However, there were a LOT of reasons to be mad at THIS one.

"Saito."  Kenshin growled.  "May this one inquire as to why you are doing this?"

"Because we have an unresolved issue, Battousai."  The policeman drew in a long drag on his cigarette as he moved to stand on the porch, slightly apart from the others.  Kaoru shivered imperceptibly as she watched him lean against her dojo walls—she did not like having Mibu's Wolf anywhere near her family.

"I thought that the issue was done away with."  Kenshin returned, rising from his slouch and somehow managing to look much taller than his true, slight form.

"You broke your end of the agreement."  Saito smirked down at the red-haired man, not intimidated and uncaring.   "An innocent man dead.  A dojo disgraced.  And an assassin brought back into the light.  How's it feel, Battousai, using your rightful sword again?"

"What are you talking about?"  Sanosuke snarled, clenching his fists tightly.  He had seen the last of the officers off, and now looked like he was spoiling for a fight.  He cracked his knuckles and glared at Saito furiously.

"Really, Rooster-head, even one of your excessive stupidity should be able to figure this out."  Saito sucked in another whiff of his cigarette and ignored Sanosuke's indignant spluttering.   "The Battousai raised his sword to kill—which means that the assassin part of him is ready to come out again, like I always knew he would."  He let his eyes scale the ex-assassin almost aggressively.  "And that means that we have a battle to finish."

Yahiko, Sanosuke, and Megumi blinked at this new twist.  Yahiko's face twisted and he opened his mouth, but Sanosuke managed to shove an elbow into his side before any words escaped.  "Let them handle this, kid."  He whispered.  "If we meddle, it'll do no good."

"Don't call me a kid."  Yahiko retorted under his breath.

Kaoru hadn't heard their exchange.  Her eyes were riveted on Saito, wide in shock.  She hadn't anticipated this.  The police weren't even bothering to do any investigating—they were just going straight to what they believed was the most likely culprit!  Kenshin's past would follow him everywhere—because of her rash stupidity, he would be suspected of betraying his oath.  And if he unwittingly said the wrong thing—no, Kenshin was smart.  He would understand what was being implied, and he could tell the truth.  He wouldn't have to suffer for her, at least—

Kenshin spoke quietly, hiding his eyes beneath blood-red hair.  "Ah.  This one understands, Saito.  Shall we pick up where we left off?"

Kaoru froze.  Her eyes flicked over to Kenshin, and she fought the impulse to scream.  He—he was—but he couldn't!

It seemed that he could.  As all present watched in stunned silence, Kenshin shifted his sword to an easier position on his hip, then began to move away from the group, not looking to see if Saito was following.  He met all their eyes passively, nothing showing on his face.  The last person he looked at was Kaoru, and there was a peaceful resignation in his demeanor that made her want to cry.  He held her gaze for a moment, then he broke eye contact and turned away, unable to look at her anymore.

_You would…you would take my punishment on yourself…you would suffer for my sake?_

But if he fought…

Memories of the first fight between the two assassins flared in Kaoru's mind.  Swords whirling in the dark, the sound of steel slicing through night air, and Kenshin's eyes, gold as the sun, burning in the shadows.  

As Saito began to move off the porch, trailing his enemy, he was suddenly stopped by a person standing in front of him.  "What do you want?"  He growled, glaring down.

Kenshin froze, his back to the scene.  He closed his eyes for a moment, fighting with two emotions that were like to tear him apart.  Then his eyes opened again, and with a muffled noise that was almost like a sob, he whirled around.

"Saito."  Kaoru said, fighting to keep her voice steady.  Her eyes were fixed on the black, polished shoes of the policeman—she couldn't find the resolve to look him in the eye just yet.  "Leave him alone."

Saito snorted, and stepped to the side to get past her

Again, he found the young woman in front of him, her arm outstretched to prevent him going around her again.  "Leave him alone."  She repeated, a hint of steely resolve in her tone.  

"Get out of the way, girl."  Saito barked, raising a hand and giving her shoulder a push.

Kaoru barely even wavered on her feet.  "Saito," And now she was beginning to raise her face, to peer up through black hair.  Her fists were clenched firmly at her side, and an almost martyr-like determination was writ in her stance.

Kenshin stared at the young woman, hardly believing what was happening.  In the back of his mind, a voice kept telling him that he was a fool to think that Kaoru would accept any sacrifice on his part.  He blocked the voice out, willing it to be wrong, opening his mouth to intervene, to call attention back to himself, to stop her—

"Saito,"  Kaoru said softly.  "I'm the one who killed him."

Almost immediately, the policeman smirked.  "Nice try, tanuki."  He said scathingly, raising a sardonic eyebrow.  "I didn't think you would go to such lengths to protect your precious 'Kenshin', but I must admit I expected a more emotional or at least _intelligent_ excuse—"

"Look at me."  

Saito stilled instantly, the smirk dropping off his visage.  Kaoru's voice was as cold as a winter wind off the ocean.  His eyes slowly began to narrow, surprise momentarily erasing cruelty.  As his gaze turned intense, Kaoru fully raised her head and looked the policeman straight in the eye.

"I'm the one who killed him."  She repeated in the same icy tone, and her eyes were as gold as the setting sun.

Silence.

In that moment, Mibu's Wolf studied Kaoru.  Conviction dawned on his face and the dark animosity returned to his eyes and curled his lip.  

A despairing sound, half-laugh and half-cry, shattered the stillness.  Megumi was holding a hand to her eyes, shoulders shaking as she began to weep.  Sanosuke let out a swear that scorched the ears of all present.  Yahiko bit his lip and gnawed furiously, trying to keep back the furious tirade building up inside him.  Kaoru lowered her gaze, shutting her eyes and sinking back onto the porch floor, cradling herself in a ball.

Kenshin stood on the porch, eyes blazing like purple flames, his hand tight on the hilt of his sword.  He gave Saito a look of pure hatred, yearning to smack the man who _dared_ to examine Kaoru as the policeman was now—like she was a particularly interesting specimen on exhibit for his enjoyment.

"Well," Saito said finally, after allowing himself to dwell on the girl in front of him for a few minutes.  "Out of all the ones here—Opium Woman, the Pickpocket, the Rooster, and the Battousai—you were the last one I expected this from, Kamiya-san.  I wondered if some part of Himura would rub off on you one day."

Kaoru stiffened under his drawling tone, and for a wild moment she wondered if he was mocking her.  "Well, what's my punishment?"  She asked recklessly, trying to be brave while her anger held her.

Saito raised an eyebrow.  "Punishment?"

"For _murder_."  She spat out the hated word, but the taste remained on her tongue, darkening her spirit yet again.  "I'm the guilty one, remember?"

"Oh, that."  He took in a deep drag on his cigarette and watched her calmly.  "Well, technically, your punishment is the police force owing you a favor, taunki."

 Kaoru's eyes widened.  "Wh-what?"

"A favor."  Saito repeated slowly, as if speaking to a very stupid child.  "You have done Tokyo a service."

The world was beginning to spin.  Kaoru grabbed onto a post, trying to regain her balance.  "Explain, please."  She asked, her voice shaking like a leaf in an autumn wind.

Saito flicked some of the ash of the end of his smoke.  "Well, tanuki, by all accounts you've done nothing wrong."    He jerked his head at the bloodstained spot where Hiroji's body had once lain.  "This man is a wanted criminal—for the past week he's been wandering through town and assaulting dojo owners, searching for a certain ex-hitokiri."  He glanced ironically at Kenshin, who did not stir.  "Apparently, he's done quite a bit of damage—critically wounded not a few, and has been charged with several different kinds of assault.  Add the fact that he was insane, and the police were given license to kill."  The cold smile was not quite present on his face as he stared down at the shaking girl.  "Let's just say that you did our work for us."

It took a moment for the thought to sink in.

"You mean…"  Sanosuke said, staring dumbly at the policeman.  "You mean there's no charge?  Jou-chan isn't sentenced to anything?"

"By the police and the law, no."   Saito replied, snuffing out his cigarette on the dojo's finely polished floor.  "Murder charges are acquitted in light of patriotic duty.  And since the weapon wielded was not hers, the police aren't interested in bringing any 'violation of the sword-banning act' complaints against her."  Kenshin's hand closed tightly around his sword at this, but he did not move.

Megumi breathed a sigh of relief, and wiped her hand across her forehead.  "Thank heavens—we can just return to our normal lifestyle and forget about this."

Yahiko whooped and jumped on Sanosuke in a victory tackle.  Sanosuke grinned at Kaoru before turning to wrestle with Yahiko. 

Kaoru was not sharing in this merriment.  She was staring at Saito, stricken still and silent.  Her mind moved sluggishly, trying to understand.

_I did a good thing…in killing him, I brought down a criminal.  I should feel happy that I'm not being sentenced.  I should feel glad that the police are giving me this chance.  I should…_

_But I don't._

Saito was watching her intently, his eyes revealing nothing of what he thought of the situation.  She found it disturbing—it was almost as if he cared about what was happening to her.  She bit back a hysterical laugh at that part.

_So, just because I killed someone that everyone wanted dead, I am held blameless?  Since my evil was beneficial, there will be no suffering for my part?  That—that can't be right.  I've done the unforgivable.  I've _killed_ someone.  I—I need to suffer for it, to pay repentance for my crime.  If they had just let me go to jail, I would feel like I'm doing that…but now…I'm a murderer, and I'm just allowed to walk free?_

_I need to repent…_

Kaoru gave a shuddering gasp, then focused her eyes in on the cold, wolfish face in front of her.  Saito was still looking at her, and there was something strange in his eyes.

She wanted him gone.  Now.

"Th-thank you, Saito-san."  She stammered out, clenching her fists to keep from shivering.  "I-I imagine that you have other things to do—so if you'd r-rather leave—I mean, if y-you would…"  Her voice trailed away, and she shrugged helplessly at him.

Saito bowed his head slightly to her.  "If it's all the same, I think I will leave.  There's paperwork to be done at the office before I go home."  He made as if to stride past her, then stopped.  Kaoru was ready to bid him goodbye, when his cold voice suddenly spoke very close to her ear.

"It won't be that easy to find forgiveness, Kaoru-san."

With a tug of his hat, he was gone.

Kaoru stared after him as he left, despair and confusion warring on her face.

In the shadows a few feet away, Kenshin was studying her as intently as Saito had.  And in his dusk-darkened eyes, a flicker of gold was dancing.

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            _Please review._


	5. Kaoru's Departure

_Hello, everyone._

_This took me an immense time to get out, because it took me an incredible effort to write._

_Be forewarned—this chapter is painful.  I had some trouble writing it because it hurt me so much.  (Yes, I know, how sad.  v.v)  _

_Thank you so much for all your reviews.  All of your support is really encouraging_

"…" denotes speaking.

_…_ denotes thoughts (Italics)

***…*** denotes flashback__

_DISCLAIMER:  Kenshin is mine.  That's really all there is to it._

_Watsuki has copyright on our story, however.  So I suggest you take all your complaints to him. _

_This chapter is dedicated to my dear friend, Crystal Renee.  I love you, babe._

_NOTE:  I do not know who originally came up with the idea of Kaoru having jasmine as a particular scent, Watsuki or a fanfiction author or whoever.  However, I'm using that in this story, so please don't sue me._

_And also, this story WILL have a happy ending.  It just has to go through a lot of dark spots to get there._

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Chapter Five

Outside, the storm and rain had finally quieted down from a furious roar to a melodious pattering of drops on the dojo roof.  The world was held in a half-illuminated night, shadows obscuring all but with just enough light from the occasionally visible moon to show lonely travelers their path.  There was a listening silence spread over the land, like the night was holding its breath.

Inside her room, Kaoru lay wide awake on her futon.  Instead of her usual sprawling sleeping posture, she had drawn all limbs tightly in to her body, and was lying curled up and facing away from the hall.  The door that connected to the outside of her room was slightly opened, allowing a cool breeze to sift its way through.

Her dark eyes were open, but they did not see the peaceful rain outside or the darkness of midnight.  Newly wrought ghosts flickered in her mind, and Hiroji's dead face was haunting her.  She dared not sleep, because then she would risk meeting her victim in dreams, and she did not want to ponder the consequences of that.

Saito's words from the afternoon whispered in her mind.

_It won't be that easy to find forgiveness, Kaoru-san._

Had she been allowed a punishment, jail sentence or government labor, she could feel that the debt on her soul was repaid if not redeemed.  But as her sin was not considered a crime…

Kaoru's lower lip caught in her teeth, and she bit it nervously.  _How_ could they do that?  A man, a living, breathing human had been _killed_, and they refused to seek vengeance merely because the life he had had been a questionable one!  He was still _human_—sins or not, villainy or not, he deserved the same treatment as any other.

The rain's dancing increased outside for a moment before again receding into a quiet rhythm.

But then, it was too late for redemption on poor Hiroji's part.  He was dead—she chewed harder—and as much as she might wish it, there was no way to undo that.  So then, the reason that this bothered her so was for her own sake.  Because she felt _she_ needed redemption.

A bitter smile twisted her face in the dark.  _Selfish, self-absorbed Kaoru, aren't we?  _She asked herself sarcastically.  _Always and only thinking about yourself.  _ Self-hatred rose in her breast, and for a moment she wrestled with the insane urge to transfer her bite from her lip to her tongue.

_Your death won't bring back the lives you've taken._

Kenshin had said that, once.

As his face shone out in her mind like a beacon, her agony eased away.  Kenshin was _every_ reason for her to remain alive.  If she went and did something stupid like suicide, he would be so sad…and he didn't deserve more pain.

_Poor Kenshin_, Kaoru thought to herself, letting her thoughts settle on this familiar subject.  Her sweet Rurouni.  He had been through far too much to have to deal with _her_.   Loss of his parents, Hiko's training, the Revolution…and Tomoe.

Tomoe.  Her eyes closed for a brief moment in silent prayer.  Tomoe was another reason to stay alive.  She didn't fancy what Kenshin's first wife would have to say to her if she happened to meet her in the Afterlife.

_She probably wouldn't even deign to speak to me_, Kaoru reflected.  _Clumsy, stupid, violent tanuki as compared to _her_?  She was _perfect—_no wonder Kenshin went wandering for 10 years after losing her._

Wandering…wandering to pay back for his sins…

Wandering to forget.  Wandering for salvation.

It won't be that easy to find forgiveness…

Kaoru suddenly sat bolt upright in bed.

_Wandering to find forgiveness._

Kenshin had gone wandering for ten years after Tomoe died to pay for the sins he had done.

To find forgiveness.

She had done the exact same thing as he had.  She had killed—and now she knew she needed to seek redemption.

Could she…maybe not for ten years…but couldn't she go…?

She spent a long time in the same spot, not moving, her eyes not seeing anything save for her own thoughts.  Finally, she raised her head, and the clarity in her eyes made them shine like lanterns in the dark.

Silently, she rose from her futon and began to undress, exchanging her sleeping yukata for a training gi and hakama in subtle, muted colors that would blend into any background.  A sturdy new pair of sandals covered her feet, comfortable and well-built, and able to last with her through a long period of walking.  A dark cloak covered her and would conceal both her gender and her shinai.  A wide-brimmed straw hat completed the outfit, pulled low over her eyes so as to throw shadows over her features.

A curl of excitement raced through her as she quickly moved towards the door.  All she had to do now was stop at the dojo to grab her sword, and then…

 A soft sound rolled ghostlike through the dojo, echoing and reverberating through the wood timbers and paper walls.  Kaoru froze at the sound, recognizing it in a heartbeat.

Her heart constricted painfully in her chest.  _Kenshin…_

She owed him more than this.

Movements slowed by pain, she turned and knelt by the small writing desk she kept in one corner.  A thin, rosy sheet of rice paper unfurled itself on the burnished wood, and the ink was still liquid in its tiny jar.  She picked up a brush and scrawled a few characters onto the paper, then blew lightly to dry them as fast as possible.  With a few careful creases, the paper was folded and sealed, and she was again making her way to the door.

Kaoru slid her bedroom door open with a snap.  She stepped out into the darkness of the hall and halted, listening for any other who might be awake at this time of night.  The familiar sounds of the dojo resounded clearly in her ears.  The creaking of the house settling in on itself, releasing the heat it had absorbed during the day.  The rustle of the wind through the trees outside, their branches shifting against each other.  The faint drip of water trailing off the roof to land in a puddle by the porch.

And then, from within the dojo, the sound of her freeloaders and friends.  Sano's rumbling snore from the spare room he used whenever he chose to spend the night.  Yahiko's soft grunts and sleepy mutterings from the room next to hers, his body turning restlessly as he strove to find a comfortable place.  And from the room just across from hers, the quiet sound came again.

Cautiously,  Kaoru crossed the hall.  With tiny, gentle movements, she slid the door of the room back and open.  Her breath caught at the vision inside.

Kenshin lay on his futon, face up.  The covers were folded down by his feet—apparently he wasn't very cold, for instead of a sleeping yukata, he was clad only in his baggy hakama, slung low about his hips.  His limbs were strewn almost carelessly about, one hand resting up by his hand, and one hand tucked around his sakabato that was lying close by the mat.  His fiery bangs had fallen back from his face, revealing the handsome, chiseled face of the man beneath them.  His scar seemed to almost glow scarlet in the dark, the mark somehow managing to make him more beautiful.  His eyes were closed in deep sleep; shadows still clustered about his brow, memories and nightmares clear in his mind, but at least now he wasn't trying to deny their presence as he always did when awake.

Kaoru found herself breathless, and viciously reminded of the physical beauty of the man she loved.  Kenshin was so full of courtesy and gentle smiles, so willing to hide beneath his hair or his morals, that it was somehow easy to forget that he was a very handsome man.  Her heart twisted again in her breast, and she fought the urge to abandon her penance, to go and curl up beside him, to feel his arm curled around her and his chest beneath her fingertips.

It was the pleasure accompanying these thoughts that forced her back to herself.  Pleasure was bad.  Good thoughts were bad.  Kenshin was beautiful and kind—and he deserved so much better than her.

She stepped into the room.  Immediately, a frown creased Kenshin's face.  She froze, cursing herself for overlooking his unusual ability to sense ki.  If he woke up and caught her…

But no.  After a moment, his countenance smoothed out again.  Whether he had lost her or merely recognized her presence, she couldn't say, but at least he was deeply asleep again.

She waited a few minutes more to be sure he would not suddenly spring to his feet and jump at her.  Then she glided forward, clutching the letter tight in her hands.  She carefully bent down and over his form, laying the paper on the other side of his sword.  As she began to pull away, Kenshin shifted slightly beneath her.  A soft, gentle sigh issued out from between his lips.

Kaoru couldn't move.  She stayed were she was, hovering just over him, watching as dreams and nightmares flitted over his face like clouds scurrying across the moon.  A small smile played about his lips, curving up the corners into the sweet expression she was so used to seeing first thing in the morning and last at night.  Her fingers reached up, and hesitantly she traced the shape of the scar on his left cheek.

With a hoarse sob, she finally drew herself away.  Shadows seemed to cluster around him again as she pulled back, and the smile left his face.  Biting her lip to keep from crying out in the dark, she retreated, one foot behind the other, backing out of his room, unable to tear her eyes away from the one person that she would miss the most.

Finally, his image was broken from her by the bedroom door sliding shut.  She rested against it a moment, eyes closed in silent apology.  Then she turned, and darted quickly down the hall and out of the living quarters towards her dojo.

A few minutes later, Kaoru was in the darkened yard.  Her favorite shinai was tucked safely away beneath her cloak, hidden from prying eyes.  She stared at the outer door that would lead her away on her travels, then turned and glanced back at the dojo that had been her home all her life.  A breeze caught at her dark hair, blowing it loose in the night, as she gazed on what—and who—she was leaving behind.

_Goodbye._

The word dropped unheard from her lips, and soared away into the night.  Shoulders squared and resolve strengthened, Kaoru turned back to the outer door.  She heaved the bar out of the way and silently pushed one door slightly open.  As it swung closed behind her she took a deep breath, and vanished into the darkness.

*                      *                      *

_Goodbye._

Kenshin's eyes snapped open.  He lurched up in the darkness, his sword already halfway out of his sheath, staring into the darkness.

Nothing.  No one there.

He sighed and re-sheathed his blade.  Having a hitokiri's nature had its ups and downs.  He had incredible senses and soul-reading skills, yes—but roaring to life every time a mouse crossed your room for fear that an ambush was starting tended to make a body a bit grumpy in the morning.

He stretched slightly, feeling oddly tense.  The sounds of the rain outside had quieted, so the downpour had slackened for a while.  He listened to the sounds of the dojo for a moment, then frowned.  Something seemed…off.  Muted, somehow.

He shook himself.  Really, now.  Just because the evening had been…well, rather terrible…that was no reason to go and get all imaginative about things.  Everything was perfectly fine.  Right?

Uh-huh.  Right.

And Saito's words to Miss Kaoru were just his compliments on her ohagi.

He closed his eyes and opened his mind, probing at all areas of the house, his battle-ki rising in his chest.  But no unwanted shadows lurked in corners, and there seemed to be no one anywhere trying to break in.  In fact, he didn't think that there was anyone awake within a mile, save for perhaps one lonely traveler who was headed away from the dojo anyway.

He relaxed slightly.  Maybe he really was getting too paranoid.  You could hardly blame him, though.  He had had to fight psychotic pyromaniacs, nutsy ninjas, and the insane little brother of his dead wife who happened to be quite handy with a sword.  Not to mention having his friends constantly throwing their lives in danger for his sake, hunting him down when he tried to keep them safe, and managing to get themselves captured by madmen.

Kenshin Himura definitely had reasons to be paranoid.

He listened for a moment more, then sighed.  There was nothing around now that needed his attention.  The best thing to do would be to lie right back down and go to sleep.

However, with the amount of adrenaline now surging through him, this was impossible.

Kenshin groaned.  It would take a half hour at least for him to calm down enough to even get a half-hearted doze, much less a good night's sleep.  It was good that he was used to little shut-eye, otherwise he would be found unconscious in the laundry bucket every morning.

He pulled himself fully into a seated position, and shuffled back to lean against the woven walls of his room.  The hilt of his sword rose to rest on his shoulder, while the end of the sheath lay between his tucked legs.  He folded his arms around his sakabato and let himself slouch against the wall.  With a movement as natural to him as breathing, his head drooped forward, and scarlet hair fell to cover his face from the world.

This position was one that held so many memories that sometimes it was tempting to never sleep in it again.  But it was one he was used to, and he often did his best thinking this way, curled up around his sword.  And right now, he needed to do a lot of thinking.

His mind almost immediately trailed away to the conversation at dinner.

*                      *                      *

_"Did the police say anything else about what was going to happen?"  Sanosuke asked.  He seemed to be striving very hard for a casual tone.  The silence between the four residents of the Kamiya dojo (Miss Megumi had left not long after the investigation had wrapped up) had presided over the dinner up to this point—an awkward, painful silence that had everyone looking everywhere but at each other._

_Kenshin looked up for the first time since he had sat down next to Kaoru at the beginning of the meal.  There was a faint warning in his eyes as he looked at Sanosuke.  "No, they did not.  I think everything had been decided before Saito spoke with us, that I do." He lowered his head again, clearly hoping to end the conversation._

_Sanosuke whistled.  "Not even a reprimand—you sure got off lucky, Missy."_

_Beside him, Kaoru stiffened.  She had been very tense the whole evening, hardly moving and not eating a thing.  Her aura was worrying Kenshin—it was curiously blank and muted, like she was trying to hold herself back, to lock her mind and heart away from them.  He sent a small glare at Sano, willing the scruffy man to be quiet—if Kaoru got any more overwrought, he was afraid she'd break apart._

_Sanosuke seemed not to notice.  He went on, starting to ramble slightly.  "I mean, hell, of all the people to give us a break…you must have impressed that creep somehow, Jou-chan.  Otherwise I imagine he'd have done everything he could to—"_

_"Shut up, Sano."  The order came, unexpectedly, from Yahiko, who was giving his friend a fairly icy look of his own._

_For perhaps the first time in his life, Sanosuke obeyed the one-time pickpocket.  He lowered his head to his food and took a huge bite of rice, spending an immense time eating it and not looking at any of them.  Kenshin relaxed slightly again, and began to sip at a cup of now lukewarm tea._

_Again, the silence draped over the table like shroud._

_"Someone say something."  Kaoru whispered finally.  "Anything."_

_Kenshin glanced uneasily over at her.  "Miss Kaoru…"_

_Something about this seemed to upset her even more.  She gave him a quick, wide-eyed glance before hunching her shoulders and dropping her head once more.  Her thick black hair slid in front of her face like a curtain, cutting her cleanly off from him._

_After a moment, Yahiko cleared his throat.  "I guess I'll have to talk to Tae about skipping work today.  I think she'll understand, but I'd feel better if I apologize anyway."  He seemed to be desperately trying to obey his teacher's request for conversation, but the effort seemed to be costing the young boy a great deal._

_"How is Tae doing, anyway?"  Sanosuke asked, finally swallowing his mouthful of rice._

_"Very good."_

_"And Tsubame?"_

_A ghost of a smile hovered over Yahiko's face.  "Good as well."_

_"Well, that's good."_

_"Yeah, I guess it is."_

_"Yep."_

_ The two freeloaders hesitated, shooting nervous glances at Kenshin, clearly not knowing what to say next._

_"How is business going for the Akabeko?"  Kenshin asked quietly, sending them both a thankful nod._

_"Pretty good.  Could be better, what with certain people not paying their tabs…"  Any other night, Yahiko would have shot Sanosuke an accusatory look and Sanosuke would have flippantly responded.  Tonight, Yahiko only laughed uncertainly, and Sanosuke gave a tiny, embarrassed cough._

_Kaoru suddenly leapt to her feet, her eyes flashing and pained in her pale, tightly-drawn face.  The three men stared at her as she began to stammer.  "P-please forgive me.  You go on eating, I-I think I'll turn in for the night."  Without another word, she turned and raced from the room.  Moments later, they heard her bedroom door slide open and slam closed._

_Yahiko and Sanosuke both sighed in relief.  Kenshin gave them both a furious glare.  Sanosuke raised his hands.  "Sorry, Kenshin, but this is a bit too much for us, ne?  Not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say…"  He shrugged._

_After a long, long moment, Kenshin nodded his assent.  "It'll be better in the morning, that it will."  He murmured tiredly, beginning to clear everyone's dishes.  "Then we can get back to concentrating on our normal lives."  He did not meet their eyes as he collected their things and moved towards the kitchen._

*                      *                      *

_Better in the morning…_

Kenshin shifted slightly.  Well, it was technically morning now, and things were NOT better.  For him, at least.  Hopefully, everyone else was in a much better position than him.  Sleep was infinitely preferable to midnight pondering.

A loud pattering made him jump.  He was uncurled and prepared to battoujutsu-ify the next person he saw before he realized it was only the rain increasing.  Instead of relaxing, he completed the movement and rose to his feet, his hand still tense on his sword.

Perhaps a quick turn around the dojo would help settle the matter of whether things were right or not.  Six months ago, perhaps, he would have dismissed his jumpiness as silly and chalk it up to imagination.  But he had learned that when it came to his family, instincts of ANY kind were usually to be obeyed to the letter.  Especially the ones that made his deadlier instincts, the side of his personality that had achieved the name "Battousai", come out.

Yes.  A quick turn around the dojo was a VERY good idea.

This decided, he swiftly turned to his door.  Carefully and quietly, he pulled it back and exited his room, stealing silently down the hall.

Almost immediately he froze.  In the darkness of the hall, in the unmoving air, he smelled something.  A familiar, sweet odor, comforting and arousing all at once. 

_Jasmine._

Kaoru had been here.  Very recently too.

He hesitated.  Kaoru's door was just a few paces behind him.  He could certainly just turn around and check…

No.  If she had been by here recently—perhaps on her way to the kitchen or dojo—then that meant that she was either still there or had returned to her room.  If she had not yet returned, then he could search her out and perhaps offer some solace or companionship.   If she had just returned, then she would probably still be awake.  It would be rude to intrude in an unmarried girl's room, that it would.  He would search the rest of his home first, then come back and check on Miss Kaoru's room.

That settled, Kenshin began to move down the hall once more.  He flitted silently from kitchen to bathhouse to dojo, searching each thoroughly, making sure that his ki came off as exceedingly threatening.  If there was someone there that he could not sense or see, he wanted them damn well aware of whose house they were dealing with.  No one would rob from the Kamiya dojo while Hitokiri Battousai slept under its roof.

But each place he searched was empty.  Somewhat annoyed, Kenshin wrapped up his patrol and headed back towards the main house, half-heartedly wishing that there _had_ been someone there to justify his uneasiness.

The jasmine scent struck him again as he walked down the darkened hall towards his room.  He halted again, this time just outside Kaoru's room.  He stared at her door, trying to hear her breathing on the other side.

_Idiot_.  He berated himself.  _Just take a quick peek and begone!_

Still he hesitated, wanting to check on the woman he loved, yet unwilling to intrude where he wasn't wanted.  The thought hurt him—always, always Kaoru had come to him for comfort or strength.  Why would she block him out now?

Now, more than ever, he wanted to be by her side.  The dinner scene had merely intensified his desire to help her, to be with her, her guiding light in a hard time.

Because he had been the only one to see the glimmer of unshed tears in her eyes as she fled the room.

Coming to a decision, Kenshin raised his hand and offered a respectful knock on the shoji door.  "Miss Kaoru?"  He called softly.

No reply.

Taking this to mean she was asleep, Kenshin slowly edged the door open, peeking timidly in, hoping to see her fast asleep and lost to pleasant dreams.

Then he opened the door wider, a faint spiral of fear unfurling in his stomach.

The room was empty.

The covers on Kaoru's futon were mussed and sprawled, yes.  The pillow with an indent where her head should have lain.  All candles doused and all lamps put out.

But Kaoru was not there.

He clamped down on the fright that was beginning to creep up his spine.  _Stop it_.  _She's fine, she just went to the toilet or—_

But he had just toured the entire house, and he had not seen her.

_Where…?_

Kenshin stared at the room a moment more before sliding the door shut again.  He turned and strode down the hall, moving quickly towards his own quarters.  Perhaps Kaoru was in his room…perhaps she had directly come there after her nighttime excursion, looking for his help.  Perhaps he had just missed her when he did his search.  Perhaps she was there now, waiting for him.

He slid his door open with a snap, expecting to see Kaoru turn with a start at the noise, to see her looking up at him with surprised, relieved blue eyes.

But his room, too, was lacking in Kaoru's presence.

Kenshin stepped into his room and gave it an accusatory look, as if it was his apartments that were to blame for Kaoru's absence.  This was getting slightly alarming, that it was.  Maybe he ought to take another turn around the dojo and make sure that Kaoru was not there…

As he turned to go, his eyes caught on a folded slip of rice paper lying beside his futon.  It looked like it had been left right by his sword, slipped under the mattress just slightly so it would not be blown or knocked away.

That cold fear ran up his spine again, and this time he did not stop it.

Slowly, Kenshin moved further into his room.  He reached out and plucked the letter from its hiding-place, absently noting the scent of jasmine that wafted through the air as he slowly opened it.

A few characters lay sprawled on the page, written in a black ink so striking that it took him a moment to fully grasp the meaning.

Two words.

_Forgive me._

Kenshin stared at them for a long moment.

"No…oh, no…"

The letter slipped from his hands, forgotten.  Kenshin whirled and flew from the room, not caring that his footsteps banged on the ground loud enough to wake the other members of the dojo.  He flew to Kaoru's room again and flung open her door, cringing at the sight of the still-empty room.  The same process was repeated at Sanosuke's and Yahiko's rooms, both of whom sleepily gaped at him as he ripped their doors open like a madman and slammed them closed again.  Ignoring them, he tore across the yard, checking every place in the dojo—training hall, kitchen, porch, toilet, bathhouse!

"No!"

All empty.

Fear gave way to anger, to confusion, to disbelief, and—finally—anguish.

Gold shone out in his maelstrom eyes.  As did tears.

His gaze turned slowly, brokenly to the outer door of the dojo that was cracked slightly open, swinging slightly as storms winds tore at it.

_Kaoru…_

The wanderer fell to his knees, clutching at his sakabato, staring at the half-opened door.

_What had he done, when faced with so much death…?_

"Kaoru…"  He whispered, then his voice rose to a harsh scream.  "_Kaoru!"_

_Don't go!  Don't leave me!_

Silence.

Hitokiri Battousai, the most feared man in all Japan, fell forward and pressed his face into the ground, for the first time feeling as lost as a child without its mother.  And as the rain pelted against his back and lightning cracked overhead, he cried.

Several miles away, Kaoru hesitated and glanced back down the road, sensing an unspoken cry.

"I'm sorry, Kenshin."  She whispered.

Then she continued on into the night.

***********************************************

            _Please review._


	6. Saito's Reasoning

_Hey, guys!_

_As a reviewer pointed out, it's been about 48 days since I last updated.  I figured now would be a good time to release the suspense—some of you wonderful fans were beginning to make threats on my personal well-being for not updating.  ::grins::_

_Better appreciate this—I have exams I need to be studying for, goddamnit!  I am taking time out of my busy schedule for my reviewers, so LOVE MEEEEEEE!  ::sniff::_

_Yes, well.  ::smile::_

"…" denotes speaking.

_…_ denotes thoughts (Italics)

_DISCLAIMER:  Kenshin has a few words to say.  Go ahead, babe._

_KENSHIN:  ::with a knife pressed up against his back and looking very nervous::  Ahem, err—I would just like to—eh—confirm the fact that—um—Miss Angie DOES have rights to me!  Yes!  Very much!  Please, do not harm me!_

_::smiles sweetly::  See?  Kenshin agrees.  He's mine._

_Watsuki, though, gets copyrights to our story, so no need to sue me.  (Because he obviously knows about this story's existence and is carefully monitoring me to make sure I don't steal credit.  ::rolls eyes::) _

_This chapter is for Saito, because he's such an ass.  _

_Note:  Notice that Kenshin and Kaoru are really codependent?  This was very factual, actually.  Eh, we can't help it.  ::smiles::  And some points will be cleared up later on, too, if they're any questions._

Chapter Six

"I'm sorry, Himura-san, but Kamiya-san was not seen by any of our night patrol."  The chief of police rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked up at Kenshin apologetically.  "At an hour that late, and with the weather being what it was…"  He seemed terribly embarrassed about the whole thing, like the police force had never made mistakes before this one.

"So," The voice, unusually quiet and somber, came from Sanosuke.  "Kaoru's gone and left us, this time by her own choice."  The three remaining members of the Kenshingumi and several choice members of the police force were seated in the Kamiya dojo's dining space.  Sano had propped himself against the wall facing the outside world.  He let out a dark laugh as he raised his gaze to pin the police chief where he sat.  "I admit, I always thought that Kenshin would be the one we'd be trackin' down after he tried to run off again…I never expected Jou-chan to do something like this."

"This is her home."  There was a small quaver in Yahiko's lip that slipped out in his voice.  "I mean…before all of us, she was here.  It always seemed…I thought she'd always be here."  He seemed about to say more, but elected instead to gnaw on his lower lip and duck his head so that dark bangs fell in front of his tear-filled brown eyes.

"I'm afraid I don't quite understand all the fuss."  That cold, cold voice that still managed to sound completely sardonic in the midst of their pain sent a thrill of hatred down both Yahiko's and Sanosuke's spines.  "So the tanuki-girl ran off and left you all—so what?  You can't get along without her?"

Yahiko leapt for Saito's knees, nearly sinking his teeth into the man before Sano grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and yanked him back.  Saito raised his eyebrow at this but did not comment, either on the attack or on the tears now blatantly streaming from Yahiko's eyes.

"She's left before, hasn't she?"  He asked instead, a carefully neutral expression schooled on his face.  "You've lived perfectly fine by yourselves before—do so again."

"We _can't_."  Sanosuke spat out, and the black look in his usually wickedly amused brown eyes would have sent another man crawling.  "Don't even try to understand it, you frozen bastard, 'cause you never could.  But we can't get along without her.  She's—"  The ex-fighter-for-hire struggled for words.

"She's our home."

Everyone automatically turned to seek out the owner of the soft words.  Kenshin was sitting in the partially-opened shoji door, his face turned to the outside world, his sakabato propped up on his chest.  Something about the serenity of his posture sent a warning flare into Sanosuke's mind.  It was too controlled, too perfect…

"Remember what happened, when Enishi—took her?"  The Rurouni asked softly, glancing back at Sanosuke and Yahiko for confirmation.  "None of us stayed here, and none of us stayed together, either.  I went to Rakunimura, Sanosuke went wandering off to his father's home, and Yahiko was left to hunt for news of Kaoru and Enishi.  She was what kept us here, gave us a home.  Without her, none of us would have met—she offered me a home when I would have wandered away.  She insisted on Yahiko's rescue and gave him lessons and a place to sleep.  She was the one who brought us to the Akabeko that day when we met you, Sano, and she was the initial reason that Kihei hired you to bring me down.  All of us owe our companionship to her, and without her—"  His voice broke, and he quickly turned back to look at the outside world.

There was a long silence.

"But why all this blubbering?"  Saito asked eventually, managing to look completely unimpressed.  "I notice you all aren't wandering away now, but you look almost as lost as when Enishi stole her."

"Because this time, she _chose_ to leave us.  There's no kidnapper dragging her away, no urgent quest, no one in peril.  She left because she didn't want to be with us anymore, and that hurts more than anything else in the world could."  Kenshin's voice was darker and deeper than his normal tones.  Sano sharply glanced in his direction, but the wanderer would not look at him.

Again, a long silence fell over the room.  The police chief was looking at Kenshin sympathetically, but wisely offered no comment.  Saito, of course, had not even blinked at this declaration.  He opened the breast pocket of his uniform, unfurled a small sheet of paper and a pouch of tobacco, and began to make himself a cigarette.

"I would ask that you not smoke in here, Fujita-san."  Kenshin said without looking back at his old nemesis.

Saito glanced up unconcernedly at him.  "What are you going to do about it, Battousai?"  He inquired, the familiar old smirk rising again on his face.

"I will remove your testicles and send them to Tokio, for starters."  The wanderer replied calmly.  "If you persisted in your disgusting habit, I would proceed send the rest of you in a body-bag."

Everyone gaped at the Rurouni in complete shock.  Even Saito blinked once or twice before regaining his usual composure.  "Bit tense, aren't you, Battousai?"

Kenshin turned his head and stared at his long-time enemy.  The wanderer's eyes were bloodshot and swollen from too much crying and not enough sleep.  The lavender color had deepened and darkened to the color of the underbellies of storm clouds.  They fixated on him unwaveringly, not even blinking, boring into him with an intensity that the policeman hadn't seen since their fight before Kyoto.  The only reassurance that Kenshin's darker traits were not surfacing was the fact that no matter how dark his eyes looked, the color still remained violet.  There was no hint of burning gold in his chilling gaze, and Saito found himself half-relieved of that fact.

Yahiko let out a tiny squeak, his eyes wide and frightened.

"Jesus, Kenshin."  Sanosuke whispered, his fingers digging into the tatami mats.

Kenshin turned to look at him, and the color drained away from the ex-fighter-for-hire's face.  A look of concern passed over Kenshin's features, and his eyes softened.  "I apologize, Sano.  I did not mean for you to see that."

"Intended only for me, eh Battousai?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Mibu's Wolf."

The other ones in the room fidgeted slightly, unnerved by the powerful and dangerous undercurrents of the room.  Almost unconsciously, Kenshin and Saito were slipping back in time over eleven years, to a fight left unfinished in the darker alleys of Kyoto.  Kenshin's polite demeanor was disappearing into pain and rage, and Saito's aloofness was being forced aside by a rising battle fury.  The fight came suddenly, though no swords or words were used.  Their spirits clashed together, furiously driving against each other in movements that made the air spin.  One could almost see their swordsman's spirits entangling and ripping at each other.

Then, as quickly as the fight had begun, it was over.

There was a thin line of sweat on Saito's brow as he relaxed back.  "Well, that was interesting."  He remarked, slipping the newly made cigarette back into his pocket to be used another time.

"Indeed."  Kenshin's voice was soft and high-pitched once more.  "Does that satisfy you?"

"It does."  Everyone else in the room blinked at this odd exchange, but both Saito and Kenshin ignored the questioning looks thrown their way.  "What do you want from us?"

"From the police force," Kenshin turned to look at the police chief, who was clearly nervous but controlling it, much to his credit, "this one would appreciate you sending some men out to patrol the roads immediately.  Kaoru's probably well out of Tokyo by now, but there's no harm in checking the outskirts, that there it not.  Perhaps some clues may be picked up if anyone saw her past."

"We'll get on it immediately, Himura-san."  The chief said firmly, rising from his seat and bowing to the petite ex-hitokiri before quietly withdrawing his men from the room.

"And from _you_,"  Kenshin said, fixing Saito with a stern gaze, "I would appreciate some answers."

Saito raised an eyebrow.  "Oh?"

"What did you say to Miss Kaoru last night?"  Kenshin asked quietly.

"Yeah!"  Yahiko jumped in, glaring up at the police officer.  "She went pale as a ghost afterwards—what didja tell her?"  He shrunk back slightly as the policeman's cold gaze fell on him, but did not lose the angry expression on his face

 His other eyebrow raised at the kid samurai, but Saito did not snort or dismiss Yahiko's question as he might have another time.  "I told her that it wouldn't be that easy to find forgiveness."  He replied neutrally.

Yahiko and Sanosuke stared at him.

"Okay, what the hell does that mean?"  Sanosuke demanded.  "Not that easy to find forgiveness for what?  What was the easy path?"

"Moron."

Sanosuke visibly twitched.  His fingers curled like they were wrapping around the policeman's neck.  "What?"  He asked dangerously.

Saito gave him a patiently bored look.  "I do believe that you heard me the first time, judging by your reaction, so please do not inquire when you already know the answer."  Sano spluttered in outrage as Saito continued.  "Look, I do not know Kaoru-san as well as you three do, and I have no real desire to.  But from what I can tell of her character, this entire situation would hit her extremely hard."

"It did."  Kenshin assured him, catching Sano's shoulder with a firm hand.

"The police had already determined the dead man was a criminal by all accounts, so for his death there would be no punishment, no matter who the killer was."  Saito paused to give Kenshin an ironic look, but the wanderer did not rise to the bait.  "Kaoru-san, I believe, was expecting to serve jail time as penance for her sins, but we could not allow her to do that.  Our jails are already full with those who could not fully 'adapt' to the times, and there are still those who run free who need those cells far more than she does."

Kenshin's eyes narrowed in assent.  "Go on."

"So therefore, since she was denied the chance to suffer our prisons, I merely warned her that she would have to find her own means of atonement for her crimes."  Saito's fingers twitched towards his breast pocket for a moment before he clamped them down again on his knees.

The three remaining members of the Kenshingumi stared at him.

"That…that actually made sense."  Yahiko whispered.

"That actually seemed _nice._"  Sanosuke muttered in a completely shell-shocked tone.

"Believe me, had I known that that conclusion might be drawn, I would never have even dreamt of assisting her."  Saito said dryly, giving Sanosuke a withering look.

"Ah…"  The sigh echoed around the room, and some of the tension behind Kenshin's eyes eased.  "So.  Not leaving because she could not stand others' company, but because she didn't want us to suffer _her_ company.  Leaving for peace, not for conflict."

"And what else did you think she would do?"  Saito inquired.  "She's not a very selfish girl when it comes to making you three happy, it seems—she wouldn't want to burden you with her pain.  And with you constantly oro-ing and cleaning laundry under her roof, where else would she look for ideas on forgiveness?  Obviously she would make you an exemplar of what she should do, take your path for forgiveness, and hit the road."

Kenshin rubbed at his temples.  "Yes, she would, wouldn't she?"  He leaned his head back and let the tendrils of his bangs slip forward and cover his eyes again.  Suddenly, he let out a hoarse laugh.  "Ah, Kaoru, Kaoru, you clever girl…"

"If that's all?"  Saito asked pointedly, beginning to rise.  "I would like to be able to get back to my work, now.  The hunt for Kamiya-san will begin promptly, and I'll probably be asked to head one of the squads."  He waited for a moment, glancing about the room, and when no one objected, he tipped his hat and turned away.

"Saito."  Kenshin's voice had deepened again.  The Lieutenant halted, not turning back but clearing listening.  "Kaoru…that is, Miss Kaoru…is a very smart girl.  Tell your men to look very carefully."

"We'll look as carefully as possible, Battousai, but we don't know her like you do."  Saito responded neutrally.  He craned his head to give the Rurouni a last glance, then slid back the shoji door and was gone.

Another hoarse laugh tore out of the Rurouni's throat.  "I do believe Saito-san is going soft, that he is."  He remarked, a strange smirk twisting his face.

"Whaddya mean?"  Sanosuke asked suspiciously.

"He just pointed out a fact that I was overlooking."

"And that was?"

"That no matter how hard the police force searches, Miss Kaoru has quite a few brains in her head.  She'll give them a merry chase, and the chase itself will make her feel even more like a criminal and raise her guilt."

"Oh, shit."  Yahiko breathed.

Sanosuke cuffed him lightly on the back of the head.  "So are we taking the wrong measures with this?  Should we call the police force back and ask them to just let it go?"

"I hardly think they'd heed our request."  Kenshin replied.  "Kaoru is legally considered a lost person, and it's the police's duty to find missing people.  Besides, it isn't healthy for her to be left alone with nothing but her thoughts to comfort her, what with the state her thoughts must be in right now."

"You did."  Sanosuke pointed out.

"I said I wandered for ten years to find forgiveness; I never said that it was the right thing to do or that I ever found it."  Kenshin responded, somewhat ironically.  "In the end, Miss Kaoru was the one who led me to Tomoe's smile and forgiveness, not ten years of being miserable and alone.  The wandering was informative and soothing, in some aspects, but if I had told her story ten years sooner, I might have been healing this scar of mine ten years earlier."  His fingers trailed over the cross-shaped scar for a moment.

"Okay, so her wandering is not good for her, but if the police try and get her back, it'll be even worse!"  Sanosuke growled in frustration.  "Both of our choices lead to bad ends, damn it!  What're we gonna do?"

"We're going after Kaoru ourselves, that we are."  Kenshin said calmly.

The two other freeloaders stared at the wanderer for a moment.

"Okay."  Yahiko whispered finally.  "Okay.  Yeah.  Yeah!  We'll go after her!"

"We know her better than any other."  Sanosuke muttered, letting the plan wash over him.  "We know where she'd be likely to hide, where she's like to go…we're the best ones for the job!"

Kenshin slowly uncurled himself, stretching up and out until he was fully upright and alert.  "We're going after her."  He repeated.  "Sano, Yahiko, get your things ready.  I'll pack up some supplies.  Go quickly, and be back here as soon as you can."

Yahiko scrambled off immediately, slamming back the shoji door with a whoop of excitement.  As his footsteps pattered down the hall, Sanosuke shot Kenshin a suspicious look.  "You sure this is in _Kaoru's_ best interest, Kenshin?"

The wanderer still had his eyes mostly hidden beneath his hair, but Sanosuke got the distinct impression that he was being given a very unfriendly stare.  He held up his hands.  "Che, take it easy, Kenshin.  I'm not saying it's a bad thing if you want her back—in fact, that's almost as good a reason as for her welfare.  I mean, hell—it's about time things started moving between you two."  He beat a hasty retreat, relieved to not be able to feel Kenshin's cold eyes anymore.

Kenshin watched Sanosuke exit, then quietly moved into the kitchen.  He reached up to one of the higher cabinets and drew down a small, dusty brown package that seemed to be rather heavy for its small size.  He unfurled the top and opened it up, peering inside.

Several hundred yen notes lay inside, crumpled and wadded together.  Kenshin allowed himself a tiny smile as he plucked most of them from their hiding hole and stuffed them into the front of his gi and into the small knapsack at his side.  That affair with Shishio had had only a few benefits.  A large thank-you payment from the people of Kyoto had been one of them.  He had kept it for a rainy day, hidden out of reach of Sanosuke's money-hungry fingers and Kaoru's accidental searches.  And if this wasn't a rainy day, then he would pack up and move back to Rakunimura for some sunbathing.

  He managed to be back in the room, looking no different for the small fortune caught between the cloth and his chest, before Yahiko and Sano returned.  He was amused to see Yahiko carrying two bokkens, one strapped to each side of his waist, and that Sanosuke had managed to freshly bandage his hands.  "Ready?"  He asked, hoisting the knapsack on his shoulders.

"Ready!"  Yahiko cried eagerly, an irrepressible grin rising on his face.

"Ready."  Sanosuke agreed, slamming his bandaged fist into the opposite hand and cracking his knuckles slightly.  "And you, Kenshin?"

The Rurouni didn't answer for a moment.  He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, tasting the air currents and letting his feelings sift and settle.  To find Miss Kaoru, he was going to need to change his outlook on the world a tiny bit.

_To find Miss Kaoru, I must be able to empathize, that I must._

Sanosuke started as the air temperature in the room palpably changed, dropping just enough to cause a chill in the air before returning to normal.  A wind whistled around the dojo, and the shadows of leaves danced against the shoji door.

Kenshin raised his head, and Sanosuke found himself looking into the golden eyes of a man with the scars of his soul freshly awakened and staring him in the face.

"Let's go."

            _Please review._

_NOTE:  The reason Kenshin has reverted to his darker instincts is because he needs to be able to understand Kaoru more and derive her motives and possible routes of escape.  His "Battousai-half" is better for this, because that part of him is more readily aware of his crimes and sins and knows what HE would do in the situation Kaoru's in right now.  And also, I don't believe the Rurouni and Battousai are two separate people like many claim.  They're both the same guy—they're both Kenshin, and he's not a schizophrenic.  Battousai is just the darker part of Kenshin's psyche.  So there.  _


	7. A Scent on the Wind

_Welcome to the next chapter of Amber Awakenings!  Please hand your tickets to the usher as you come in, and proceed to fill up the front seats first. All reviews should be helpful and encouraging, and all useless flames will be laughed at and mocked at length to the authoress's friends.  Thank you, and enjoy your stay!_

**DISCLAIMER**_:  Rurouni Kenshin is copyrighted to Nobuhiro Watsuki._

**NOTE**:  This chapter is dedicated to Pia Bartolini, who gave me a very honest review, which I highly appreciate.  I hope this chapter meets with your standards, madam/sir, and I do thank you for your words.

**Chapter Seven: A Scent on the Wind**

In a tiny restaurant a few miles outside the farthest outskirts of Nagoya, Kaoru was finishing up a meager meal of rice balls and water.  Her lunch had already been bargained for with a few yen notes, and her hostess—a sour-faced, grouchy middle-aged woman—was clearly ready to have the newly-made wanderer leave.

Kaoru let the last few drops of cool water in her cup trickle into her mouth before wiping her lips and giving the woman a small smile that was not returned.  Heaving the bag back up onto her shoulders, she eyed the long-stretching road in front of her.

It had been over half a week since she had left the Kamiya dojo, and the shock of her new life had not worn off yet.  She often found herself almost enjoying being able to choose where she was going and what pace she could take, but the fun was completely ruined by homesickness and the uncomfortable living conditions.  She had not yet found a warm place to sleep, preferring to rest under trees and bushes alongside the road.  This choice of resting places would have been fine a month earlier, but in the middle of a swiftly-cooling autumn, the nights were often damp and always cold, and she woke up with muscle pains for her trouble.  She would soon have to start sleeping inside if she didn't want to catch frostbite in the middle of the night. 

Worse, her money was beginning to run low.  She hadn't taken more than a hundred yen with her, and though her dinners were always cheap that money wouldn't last.  She'd have to take up begging—an idea she detested—or start finding simple jobs to pay for her meals.

She was also finding out how truly unappreciated the vagabond class was.  People were inclined to ignore her completely, even when she directly asked them for directions.  Often she saw ragged, dirty-looking men giving her bokken and then her considering looks, which she never returned and tried to disregard.  She was glad that her identity and gender were hidden underneath her heavy cloak—she didn't want those men to look at her as anything but a potential opponent.  For Kenshin to have had to put up with this ostracizing and isolation for so long—no wonder he had accepted her offer of a home.  This disregard for wanderers could hurt if you took it personally.  Sometimes she was tempted to do the very same thing that Kenshin had at times—to throw herself on some lonely farmer's tender mercies, or to even start back to her comfortable old dojo, to offer to serve as maid in exchange for a room.  If it were not for the nightmares she had of Hiroji and the thought of the sadness in Kenshin's eyes if she came back and could not make him happy, she might have turned around and sprinted all the way back to Tokyo.  This "adventure" was not worth the pain of public disgrace.

She had chosen her path the first night out.  Upon leaving the Kamiya dojo, she had walked the whole night and morning, collapsing in a wildflower field around noon and sleeping until the following morning.  Her walk had been purposeful, but her mind had been almost completely numb—she hadn't even come to grips with her choice until waking up at dawn and finding herself surrounded by daisies and autumn leaves instead of her comfortable room.  She had decided that the best and longest route would be to travel the main roads through the major cities until she reached Kyoto.  She was more likely to find food and lodging along the main roads, and bandits and other unsavory characters would be less inclined to pass on routes where policemen had regular patrols.  With this decision in mind, she had consulted the nearest farmer and turned her feet towards Nagoya.  She would go from Tokyo to Nagoya, Nagoya to Nara, Nara to Osaka, and Osaka to Kyoto.  After that…

After that, she did not know what she would do.  Going back to Tokyo at all now seemed tempting and…impossible.  But going on, perhaps to another island or another country, seemed just as impossible and nearly as unpleasant.

_Get to Kyoto_.  Kaoru advised herself firmly.  _You can figure out what you're going to do from there._

She hefted her bag higher on her shoulders, lifted her chin, turned towards the South, and continued along the path.

 "…take one down, pass it around, thirty-three bottles of sake on the wall!"

"Damn it, Yahiko, that song was annoying sixty-six bottles of sake ago!"  Sanosuke cuffed the spiky-haired boy upside the head.

"Sano!  That hurt!" 

"Serves you right.  You should learn to talk less, brat."

"What, I should stuff my mouth with food instead like you do?"

Sanosuke responded to this by once again knocking the small boy upside the head.  Yahiko growled and crouched low on the ground, preparing to launch himself at Sano's head and engage in a customary brawl.  Sanosuke grinned mockingly and stuffed his hands low into his pockets.

"The both of you be quiet."  Kenshin ordered calmly, raising an eyebrow at his two companions.

The brewing fight immediately subsided into silence and a nervous glance or two.  Three days had passed since they had set out to find Kaoru, but Sanosuke and Yahiko were still unsure and wary about their traveling companion.  It was still _Kenshin_—same politeness, same quiet laugh, same intentness.  But the gold in his eyes had not retreated into lavender, and every once in a while there was a hint of ferocity beneath the Rurouni's calm exterior that reminded all present that this tiny, feminine man had once been the most dangerous hitokiri of the Revolution.  This Kenshin did not "Oro" and was rarely endearing or sweet.  He was slightly colder and just a bit more intelligent than the Kenshin that Sanosuke and Yahiko were used to.  And they were treating him very, very carefully.

Kenshin didn't seem to notice the awkward silence he had caused.  Instead, he was peering intently about their surroundings.  The remaining members of the Kenshingumi were still in downtown Tokyo, examining the outskirts. 

   "See anything?"  Yahiko ventured after a long moment.

Kenshin' shoulders tensed, then slumped.  "No.  There's no sign of her here."  He touched a hand to his forehead, fingers rubbing absently at his temples.  "She left no trail to follow at all, and even if she did, it'd be cold now.  Rain and two days of market will wipe out anyone's footprints.  I thought she might leave us a clear trail, wanting us to follow her, but…"

"So…now what?"  Yahiko asked hesitantly after another pause.

Kenshin's hand dropped.  "We talk to people.  Make inquiries, find out who else was awake at that time of night.  Offer a reward for information, perhaps—that'll draw some people for sure."

"You're sure she went this way?"  Sanosuke inquired.

"Yes, I'm sure.  She'd take a back way out of the city, and a quick one at that.  She'd want to get to a main road, where travelers are many and she could move unrecognized—anonymity and a quick getaway are what she wanted most.  And this is the closest path to our dojo that leads to a main pathway—an obviously good choice for her."

Yahiko felt his jaw drop slightly at this brief, uncharacteristic speech.  He didn't realize Kenshin was so observant of Kaoru's mannerisms before.

"Himura!  Himura-san!"

Kenshin turned to see a young police officer running down the alleyway towards them.  He stopped short at their group, panting slightly, his breath puffing out in the cool autumn air.  "Himura-san, sir, the chief says to tell you that we haven't found any leads on Kamiya-san in the downtown areas, but that Lieutenant Fujita is questioning some possible witnesses and wants you to be there to see if anyone says anything interesting."

"Where is Fujita-san?"

"Near a food place called the Akabeko—"

Kenshin nodded his thanks, and then without another word, he was moving through the streets, dodging through shoppers and residents of the town at a pace that almost could have been a sprint.  Sanosuke quickly grabbed Yahiko by the scruff of his gi, and the two of them raced after their friend.

Saito raised one eyebrow as Kenshin suddenly popped up beside him seemingly out of nowhere and raised the other when Sanosuke came running up a few moments later and dropped Yahiko in a dusty heap on the ground, but he did not comment.  Instead he jerked his head back towards an older lady squinting up at them from the steps of the Akabeko.  "We think we might have found someone who saw Kamiya-san leaving that night."

Kenshin said nothing, but Sanosuke watched as his friend tensed at Saito's last words.  "Have you talked with her?"

"Only briefly.  Thought you'd like to hear this."

"I appreciate that.  Please go ahead."

Saito turned his back to the small ex-hitokiri and fixed the elderly woman with a glare worthy of the Shinsengumi.  The crone squeaked in fright and pressed herself back against the steps.

"Your name!"  Saito barked.

"D-Daishi N-N-Nao."  The hag stammered.

"Where were you last Saturday night and early Sunday morning?"

"I-In an a-alleyway sleep-p-ping."

"Where?"

The woman gestured vaguely in the direction from which Kenshin, Sanosuke, and Yahiko had come.

"Why were you in that alleyway?"

The woman muttered something disconsolately to herself.

"Speak up!"

"N-nowhere else t-t-to go!"  She bit her lip and twisted the bottom hem of her garment in her hands, clearly frightened by this severe policeman.

"You claim to have seen the missing person pass, correct?"

"I-I don't know.  I-I s-saw someone p-pass—" 

"You claim you were sleeping?  How could you see anyone if you were sleeping?"  The old woman only wailed in reply and buried her head in her gnarled hands, unable to take any more of the lieutenant's questioning.

At this point, Kenshin let out a quiet cough.  Saito turned, his eyebrow already raised.

"What is it, Battousai?"  The woman's sobs seemed to keep her from hearing the policeman's inquiry, fortunately for all present.  Saito's expression vaguely resembled a wolf whose territory was being challenged, and he was giving his much-smaller rival a very hostile glare.

Kenshin merely looked serenely up at him.  In the morning sunlight, the gold in his eyes seemed to catch fire.  "I would just like to ask the witness a question or two myself, Fujita-san.  If that's all right with you, of course." 

 Saito stared at him for a moment, long eyes narrowing dangerously.  Then with an impatient nod, he stepped aside.

The most famous manslayer of the revolution carefully knelt down in front of the old woman.  He carefully reached a hand forward to tap her as respectively as he could on the shoulder.  "Excuse me?  Daishi-dono?"

Sanosuke blinked.  Daishi_-dono?_

The hag seemed startled as well.  She pried her face away from her hands and stared at Kenshin with wet gray eyes, her wizened face twisted with astonishment.

Kenshin smiled reassuringly at her.  "Daishi-dono, I would like to ask you a question or two, please.  I would very much appreciate it if you would respond.  If you really did see the woman we're looking for, you could do us a great service."

The old woman cast a fearful glance at Saito, who was giving Kenshin a rather deadpan look.  But she turned her eyes away from the tall police officer and seemed to be making a valiant attempt to ignore him.  "Wh-what do you w-want to know?"  She asked Kenshin quaveringly.

"Did you see anyone that night you spent in the alleyway?"

"H-hai, I did."

"When?"

"V-very late. I think p-probably a little p-past midnight.  I had come awake b-because the r-rain had gotten heavier and the d-droplets were banging on m-my cover."

"Ah, I see."  Sanosuke could sense a hint of relief coming from the ex-assassin.  That was the right time frame they were looking for, and the right place.  "And who did you see, may I ask?"  He smiled encouragingly as the woman gulped and gnawed her lip nervously.  Saito snorted from his place on the sidelines.

"W-well, I was m-messing with my b-blankets when I h-heard someone walking by.  I l-looked up to see someone w-walking real fast by my s-spot.  Looked like a v-vagabond, almost."

"What did she look like?"

"C-couldn't see very well.  I'm n-not even sure it w-was a woman.  They w-were dressed in d-dark clothes with a wide-brimmed h-hat pulled low over their face.  I think m-maybe a bokken or a sh-shinai was at their s-side.  Some kind of n-non killing sword, anyway."

"Were they any other characteristics?  Could you see facial features at all?"

The old woman shrugged helplessly.  "I'm s-sorry, but their face r-really was covered c-completely.  They m-might have been anywhere f-from fifteen to forty-f-f-five in age.  S-short stature, s-slender frame…"

"Any gender definition at all?"

"N-no, the clothes were t-too baggy.  I think th-they had black hair—long p-ponytail at least.  Or m-maybe it was brown hair, n-now I think on it.  D-dark, at least.  They s-seemed to want t-to avoid being s-seen."

 All of her audience slumped, except for Saito, who wouldn't slump if his life depended on it.  The description was vague and could apply to any number of travelers going through town.  Even that late at night, there were always a few unknown faces traveling through Tokyo who didn't want to be seen by daylight—this person could have been anyone.  Yahiko let out a gusty sigh as Sanosuke frowned disappointedly.  Kenshin's face was blank as he slowly stood and looked down at the old woman.  "I thank you for your help, Daishi-dono."  He said quietly, giving her a low bow before turning away, his eyes hidden beneath long folds of red hair.

The crone barely seemed to acknowledge his thanks, or release her interview was over.  She stayed where she was, looking pensively at the ground.  It almost seemed like there was something pressing at her mind, trying to get her to remember.  Her mouth slowly opened as Kenshin moved away.  "You know…it's f-funny…there w-was one thing that m-made me think it w-was a woman.  What w-was it now…"

 The wanderer froze in his steps, glancing back over his shoulder.

"F-funny thing, now…what was it—oh, yes."  The hag's face brightened a bit.  "Th-there was a s-scent on the air, j-just after they passed.  A nice s-smell, you know, like p-perfume or oils.  B-but the thing was, I d-didn't think that they were a p-prostitute or nothing, t-trying to sell themselves.  I j-just thought it was n-natural.  The p-person was just m-made to s-smell like that.  Wh-what was the smell, now…f-flowers or something, v-very sweet…"

Kenshin's voice was carefully crafted into softness as he spoke.  "Jasmine?"

A small smile shifted the woman's wrinkled face.  "Yes, th-that's it."  She murmured, looking up at the red-haired wanderer.  "Jasmine.  Jasmine."


	8. Author's Note: WARNING

Author's Note:

It has come to my attention that someone has been, in their own indirect fashion, plagiarizing my work by posting it on another website without my permission and under their name. They did have the courtesy to mention me, however most reviewers are still misled into thinking that the work is theirs.

I will not be posting anymore until the story is taking down. You know who you are. I appreciate that you liked my work—now have the courtesy to respect the author.

Thank You. If all goes as planned, the next chapter should be up within the month, if the story is removed. Sorry for the delay! Junior year is a pain in the butt.

Your Respectful Authoress,

Aeva Verreuil

(Elgaladangel)


	9. A Question of Honor

_Yea verily, I have promised, and lo! It has been done. The plagiarizer has been taken down. Thank you so much to all of my readers who expressed their support—that meant a lot to me. It's nice to feel appreciated. And as I said I would, here is the next chapter of Amber Awakening for your enjoyment._

_DISCLAIMER: Rurouni Kenshin is copyrighted to Nobuhiro Watsuki._

_NOTE: This chapter is dedicated to all you guys, for being so cool. Rock on._

* * *

****

Chapter Eight: Question of Honor

"Bastard! Watch where you're going!"

"I'm sorry! Truly, I am sorry, I didn't see—"

Kaoru's apologies were cut short, and she had to duck to avoid a flying cup of sake with murderous intent behind it. She glared at the thrower, a man who was clearly drunk beyond belief. "Excuse _me_, but now I think of it, I do believe _you _ran into me!"

"Insolent son of a bitch!" The man slurred, stomping dazedly about and trying to pinpoint her with his beady little eyes. His clumsy, thick fingers began to worm their way towards the sword held in the belt at his side. "I'm a teach ya a lesson in 'spect!" He began to yank unceremoniously at his sword hilt, trying to free it from its sheath.

Kaoru blinked at the pot-bellied drunk, wiping a few drops of rainwater from her eyes as she sighed. It was barely evening, yet there were already despots like this running about. How sickening. This tiny town, just outside Nagoya's borders, was not the finest quality place in Japan. Her eyes began to slowly narrow as her opponent tripped over his own feet and landed face-first in a deep puddle of mud, still hollering insults at her.

She was not at all in the mood for this. She was wet, cold, and hadn't had a bite to eat all day. If this idiot valued his bone structure, then he would be well-advised to leave her alone.

"Sir," She said calmly, with an enormous effort, "Please. Your words are offending me, as is your presence. I ask that you please let me move past you and go into town."

"Shut up!" The man slowly crawled out of his puddle and picked himself up, wiping the wet filth of the streets off of his face. "Whelp! Vagabond! I'll fix you—make a fool outta me!" Clearly mad as a bull, and not sobered at all by the effects of his clumsiness, he finally managed to tug his blade free of its sheath.

Kaoru ground her teeth. Any other day, any other time, she might have laughed his insults off. But now they were cutting too deep, not only reminding her of her own inadequacies, but of a wild-haired boy who had called her some of the very same things many times before. The memories of her life combined with the weariness she felt after a day on the road were quickly pushing her past the point of reason into something very close to blind, shallow rage.

"Sir. Please. I'm very tired. I would like to move by you—"

"Pansy! You weak little shrimp, stop trying tah worm your way out!"

"—I just want to get to an inn, for the love of Kami—"

"Pig! Cur!"

"—If you would like to live the rest of your life as a man—"

"Girly man! Hag!"

"That's _it._" Kaoru snarled, her finely strung temper finally snapping. In one swift movement, her bokken was out and at the ready, pointing towards the man with grim intent. For a moment, the press of guilt swelled up in her mind, but it was quickly buried under the swift promise of _I won't kill him, for heaven's sake! _and the reminder that it was not Kenshin's sword she held, but her own non-killing bokken. It would take a greater effort than she was capable of right now to really murder someone with her wooden blade.

The man found himself rendered completely unconscious within about three seconds.

Kaoru snorted slightly to herself as she unceremoniously dragged his body into a nearby alley. Really, that had hardly been worth the effort. She should have tried one of Sano's one-fingered attacks to save her strength—it would have probably had the same effect in the end.

She pulled the brim of her hat lower down on her forehead as she delivered a small, bitter kick to the man's midsection. He'd have some lovely new colors on his forehead in the morning if she wasn't mistaken. Served him right.

Her stomach let out a complaining rumble as Kaoru began to head down the street once more. She patted it consolingly, a rueful smile crossing her face. She hadn't eaten since before passing through Nagoya, probably over twelve hours ago, and that fact had been prodding at her all afternoon.

She eyed a restaurant as she passed it, stopping a moment to get a whiff of the enticing smells from inside. It was by no means a high-class place—in fact, it looked rather seedy, with moth eaten curtains over the entrance and holes in the huge lantern lit and hanging like a decaying moon just outside the door. Already she could hear the sounds of drunken revelry echoing inside the weathered walls. She was unable to afford any meal with money, so to earn her meal, she would have to work among those angry and lecherous voices, no doubt dealing with leers and stares and a good deal more besides. The very idea made her shudder slightly in disgust.

At the current moment, however, pickiness was not high on her list of priorities.

The hostess did not notice her standing just inside the door until she delicately cleared her throat. The woman jumped slightly before turning sharp, hard eyes towards the shadows where Kaoru stood. "Yes?" She demanded brusquely. "If you're looking for a handout, we've none to give."

"I have no intention of _begging_ for my meal." Kaoru's voice was cool and distant, and the woman took a noticeable step back, eyeing her with a cautious air. "I was wondering if you'd any need of an extra pair of hands this evening. I'd accept food as payment, if you like."

The woman paused, greed briefly flitting through her eyes. "Done," she said shortly. "One of the serving girls is out tonight. We can find you the bib of one of our cooks, the menfolk'll just have to deal with a man serv—Kami!" She sucked in her breath as Kaoru pulled her hat off her head and let her long hair tumble softly down with a sigh of relief. "Heavens, you're a _girl!_"

Kaoru quirked an eyebrow upwards slightly. "Are you surprised?"

"Shocked, actually." The woman's look turned from astonishment to accusation. "What kind of trouble are you in, that you walk about dressed as a man, hey? You got the police after you or something? I don't want a convict or a prostitute in my bar!"

"No more of them, you mean?" Kaoru muttered under her breath. "I am not running from the police, madam, and why I wear these clothes is my own business."

The woman snorted. "Your business seems to have taken you down to the pits, child. Seems to me you should find a nice young man and make it _his_ business too. Better to suffer together than alone, after all." Before Kaoru could summon her wits to respond to this comment, the hostess barreled on ahead. "Any case, you're a woman, and you'll be wearing this house's waitress clothes as such." She opened a closet hidden just beside her opening position and selected a piece of clothing out of it, tossing it carelessly at Kaoru. "Agreed?"

Kaoru swallowed back her protests as she gazed at the outfit. It was a kimono, which she should have been glad to see once more, had it not been for the fact that it took her two tries to figure out what on earth it was supposed to go over. It was obviously meant to flatter even the most unattractive of women and turn them into alluring creatures, and Kaoru found herself wondering why on earth the hostess had so balked at the idea of her as a prostitute and then tossed _this_ at her. It was the color of a vengeful sunset, a searing, blistering orange that was just bright enough to not be mistaken for red. The material beneath the waist was wider than normal, allowing for easier walking and quicker movements, but the top part was bound so tightly that it seemed impossible that she would be able to serve _any_ food without ripping a seam. Added a few patches here and there, a loose string or two, and the entire thing practically screamed slums and low morals.

After a few moments of wrestling with the indignant words that were longing to spew forth at the hypocritical hostess, she managed to grit out, "Agreed."

The hostess nodded in satisfaction. "Good. You'll work six hours for a bowl of soba and a cup of tea. No more and no less. Also agreed?"

"Fine." With another effort to shove down her pride, Kaoru stalked off towards the kitchens to get changed.

* * *

Kenshin was quietly busy being more furious than he had ever been in his entire life. 

Hell with Okubo's murder, hell with Shishio's betrayal and attack on the Aoiya, hell with the destruction of the Akabeko. The only thing that surpassed his current mood was when Enishi had announced his intention to kill Kaoru, and even then he could at least form coherent sentences.

At the moment, words were completely beyond him. He could only glare, which he did with a great deal of passion, fixing his opponent with eyes so bright that they almost seemed to glow with it.

"What the _hell_ do you mean, you're not going to let us go look for Jou-chan!" Sanosuke roared, slamming his fist down into the weak wood of the desk and leaving a rather sizable hole.

Saito calmly flicked the ashes of his cigarette at his desk's new redecoration. "You're paying for a replacement, I'll have you know," He told Sanosuke with a small smirk, his eyebrows raised slightly in sadistic amusement at watching the three males in front of him try to keep themselves from any further violence in the midst of a police station.

"How can you do this to us!" Yahiko nearly choked on the words, spluttering in anger. "How dare you! She's _ours_, she means more to us than she ever will to you, you goddamned filthy—"

"Enough." His eyes narrowed only slightly, but Yahiko caught the change in the police officer's mood and was smart enough to hush. "No one here is debating your affection for the girl, myself least of all. But the Chief Inspector of this case has told me to tell you that you are not to be allowed to participate in this endeavor."

"Fuck you!" Sanosuke barely managed to restrain himself from making another hole in the desktop. "What the fuck are you playing at, Saito! The only reason we gave you and your damned police aid was with the notion that _we_ were the ones going after her!"

"Then you were misled." Saito drew in a slow breath on his cigarette. "I can't imagine who would have misled you so, but you can register a complaint of misinformation at the front."

Kenshin's voice was so low in tone that it was far more an animal's savagery then a human voice. "So, all your _advice_ to us on how we were to go after her, all that was for _show!_"

"I never advised any such thing, and you know it, Battousai," Saito said smoothly, rising from his desk to move to his door. "Oiji, go tell the Inspector that I had no troubles whatsoever dealing with the men of the Kamiya dojo," He ordered the young police officer just outside the door, who leapt at once out of sight. The ex-Shinsengumi member then firmly closed the door and latched it behind him.

"You've got some nerve, you _bastard_—!" Sanosuke roared.

"Be silent," Saito said curtly, his eyes flashing. "Sit down, you moron. I haven't got much time, the Inspector will be here in a moment to see you three back to your home."

Kenshin, whose hand had been at his sword a second earlier, narrowed his eyes at his old enemy. "You haven't much time?"

Saito rolled his eyes. "To tell give you aid, Battousai. I thought you at least knew me better than that."

The jaws of the three remaining members of the Kenshingumi dropped.

"That's better. At least you're silent that way." Saito retook his chair, puffing calmly at his cigarette. "Didn't I tell you that you idiots had a better chance than the force? I've no intention of running around for weeks looking for your Kamiya-san when there are far more important issues to look after. The Inspector knows that I am handing over my area of the investigation to a selected group of officers; he has no idea that those officers are you three."

Even Kenshin found himself rather stunned by this unforeseen move. "Saito," he began cautiously, "what in hell's name…"

"Himura, shut up and listen to what I have to tell you."

Kenshin complied, his shock multiplying by some degree. _Himura?_

"Now listen," Saito said swiftly and quietly. "From the information given to us by your witness, Battousai, we have managed to discern that Kamiya-san is heading south. We also believe that she only took the back road until she passed outside of Tokyo limits, then she connected with a main road and has been following it since. And we think that road is the one that leads to Kyoto."

"Kyoto," Yahiko breathed, eyes wide. "She would go there, wouldn't she?"

Saito gave a curt nod, and gave Kenshin a slightly ironic look. "With the logic that has governed all of her movements up to this point, I believe that it is a safe bet that we are correct." Kenshin gave a tense nod, but did not respond. "However, we cannot tell what pace she has set, nor if she truly intends to go all the way to Kyoto or to pass it entirely. I would not advise bothering to travel all the way to Kyoto to wait for her—she might be clever enough to avoid you and the city entirely."

"What would you advise, Saito?" Kenshin inquired softly.

"Follow her." Saito took a last deep breath of his cigarette, and then snuffed it out in a small ashtray by his elbow. "Make your own inquiries, follow her trail. You'll have to move fast, but I think it can be done. You just need to prove yourselves adequate enough to match her wit and her pace."

There was silence for a moment as the three men carefully mulled over the policeman's suggestion.

"Fine," Kenshin said at last. "We will take your advice."

Saito nodded his head. "I thought you would." He rose smoothly and came around from behind his desk. "I'd recommend leaving as soon as possible—she's got a head start, and a large one at that. Try moving as quickly as you can to the Nagoya region, then take your search from there. A carriage will be waiting outside the Kamiya dojo in thirty minutes to take you directly there."

"Can it be drawn up here?" Kenshin asked quietly.

A momentary flare of humor curled Saito's thin lips up into a smirk. "Yes, Battousai, it can be called directly here. Ask one of the young neophyte officers at the front, they'll be willing to help you."

"Thank you." Kenshin turned his amber gaze to his two companions. "Sano, Yahiko, will you go take care of that, please."

Silently, the boy and the young man pushed themselves out of their seats and headed towards the door.

"Oh, and by the way," Saito called after them, a hint of derision flaring out his nostrils, "if the two of you have enough brains to make my story look convincing, I would appreciate it if you could act as angry as you were earlier. I don't want to be written up for this transgression, if at all possible."

"Shouldn't be too hard," Sanosuke muttered, looking at his nemesis with loathing. "You're still an inconsiderate bastard, Saito."

"Ah, I did hope that nothing could ever damage our relationship, moron," Saito replied sardonically.

"Don't worry—nothing will _ever_ change my feelings towards you, you jerk."

"Indeed."

"Sano," Kenshin's voice was as sharp as steel. "Out. Now."

The door slammed hard enough to rattle the windows. The sounds of Sanosuke and Yahiko swearing could be heard even through the thick wood, fading slightly as they moved down the hall.

The one-time hitokiri and ex-Shinsengumi Captain stared at each other for a long moment.

"Why?" Kenshin asked at last, his voice even. "You defy your own precepts in doing this. Why?"

Saito crossed his arms. "Do you remember Kyoto?"

Kenshin raised one eyebrow.

Saito smirked slightly. "Touché." He paused, as if considering how best to phrase the words. "That girl followed you there, didn't she. For no other reason than to see you."

Kenshin's eyes widened in complete astonishment. "You're helping us out of _sentimentality?"_

Saito snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. I think that she was an absolute fool for putting herself in danger merely for your pathetic sake."

Kenshin narrowed his eyes dangerously; Saito held up a hand to ward off the oncoming growl. "She's a fool, but she is a brave fool. She shows more courage in her actions than you have in all the years I've known you. Never mind the fact that she's flighty and annoying as hell." The words were plain and matter-of-fact, but Saito's eyes were filled with a great deal of cruel amusement as he watched Kenshin sputter slightly. "You want to know why I'm helping you, Himura? Because you're a greater idiot than she is, and I'm tired of the both of you. I want you to go out and get her back, and then I never want to hear from either of you again until I see your wedding announcement in the local papers. Understood?"

Not many people had ever seen Himura Battousai in such a state. Kenshin's mouth worked convulsively, his thoughts scattered to the winds. When he finally managed to speak, his voice emerged as a breathless croak.

"H-Hai, Saito. Understood."

* * *

With a sigh, Kaoru plopped herself down at the restaurant's bar, wincing as she carefully lifted up one of her feet and gazed at it mournfully. The poor thing was twice the size it had been this morning, and she had at least four deep cuts slashing into the sides of her feet where she had accidentally stepped on a broken teacup or smashed soba dish. She had been on her feet for well over sixteen hours, and if her shift hadn't ended when it did, she would have collapsed in the middle of the restaurant and let herself be run over by the customers rather than get up. 

With a clatter, the hostess rose up from behind the bar and slammed down a bowl of cold soba and a cup of some dark brown liquid on the counter. "Here," She said ungraciously, rubbing her hands briskly on a worn towel. "You can spend the night in one of the upper rooms, if you can find one that's unoccupied. We can keep you on another evening if you like, but by tomorrow night you've got to find a new occupation or offer up further services."

"I'll be gone by tomorrow morning," Kaoru promised, an unexpected gratitude rising in her breast. "Thank you for your kindness."

Her thanks seemed to catch the hostess off guard. She stopped drying her hands for a moment to blink owlishly at the young woman in front of her, surprise lighting up her sharp brown eyes. Then she seemed to come to herself once more, and her face hardened. "Don't act like I was doing you such a _favor_," She muttered almost sullenly. "I was doing no more than I'd do for anybody, and that's truth."

"It's the first kindness I've had in a while," Kaoru confessed quietly. "I must admit, it seemed like quite a lot to me, no matter how sparse you may think it to be."

The woman did not answer, merely continued to rub at her hands, until Kaoru was quite convinced that she was going to chafe her skin raw. Thinking she must have somehow offended her temporary mistress, Kaoru bent her head low to her food and filled her mouth with the soggy noodles, savoring their plain taste in relief. It felt wonderful to have real, solid food in her stomach once more, and she quickly downed the whole bowl in an effort to keep the sensation of being full as long as possible.

As her slurping faded to contented silence, Kaoru slowly let her head sink to rest on the grainy wood of the bar. She sighed wearily, letting the constant motion and work of the day finally take its toil on her. For a moment, she felt so exhausted that she thought that she would drift away right there at the bar. As this thought entered her mind, she considered her situation, then nestled her head in her arms, intent on doing just that.

A sharp finger poked her in the shoulder. Kaoru moaned and swatted at it, "Go 'way."

"If you value what virtue you've got, miss, I wouldn't sleep down here." The mistress's voice was low and urgent, and Kaoru opened her eyes immediately, her dreams forcibly pushed aside in exchange for a burst of nervousness.

"What do you mean?" She answered quietly, slowing raising her head and craning her gaze to meet the woman's face.

The mistress sniffed, then nodded her head towards the still half-full restaurant. "There's a geisha house down the street for the men folk to get their entertainment, but sometimes some of them don't want to pay, eh? And those who don't want to pay have been known to make trouble in other places."

Kaoru felt a cold shiver worm its way up her back. "Rape?"

"Nah, not exactly. But when a woman looks as tired and as hopeless as you do, missy, they've been known to trust who they ought not to trust and go where they would not normally go, understand?"

"Understood." Kaoru stretched and stumbled her way off her stool. "Thank you—" She tried her best to hide a yawn, "—for telling me, lady."

"Again, it's nothing." The woman hesitated, and then a small smile crossed her creased face. "Only what I'd do for anyone. Now, if you want to take anyone into your bed by your own accord, then that's your business. Just thought you should be given the right to choose, that's all." With her piece spoken and a seeming loss of interest in the matter, she turned and bustled behind the bar and back into the kitchen out of sight.

Kaoru found herself blinking in absolute shock after the woman. She opened her mouth to protest her innocence and announce her indignation of the very thought. Then abruptly, she closed it again.

_If you want to take anyone into your bed by your own accord…_

She had considered the idea before, of course. She knew—of course she knew, how could she not?—what went on behind closed doors and in marriage beds. She knew of the technicalities of the situation, and had always been content that there was nothing to it except something with the meshing of bodies and usually a man and a woman, though she had heard of variances on those sexes. But any interest in trying it for herself had been dampened by the idea of such intimacy with _anyone_ except a man who she was sure would want to spend his life with her. When Kenshin had arrived in her life, her list of possible lovers had been dramatically changed, in all senses. Instead of taking a practical, detached look at the concept in the vague notion of perhaps getting married someday, her view had changed into a very real and very _personal_ interest in the whole matter. And the list itself had been narrowed down to one man, and one man alone.

Him.

The whole notion of sex with anyone aside from Kenshin was rather—well—unappealing. To be completely frank, the thought of romantic involvement with _any_ man but Kenshin made her ill. Sex was alien and frightening to her, but Kenshin was the one person in the entire world who she was sure couldn't do her any harm. The idea of sex on its own made her quite ill; the idea of sex with _Kenshin_—

When she could actually manage to even think of such matters, the idea of being with Kenshin _in that way_ caused her face to warm and a pleasant spiral of heat to curl its way from her heart to her stomach.

But Kenshin was back in Tokyo. And she did not know whether or not she would be returning to him. And even if she _did_ return—there was no way that he would want her now.

Not that he had wanted her before.

And it was with this frame of mind that Kaoru set aside her maidenly virtue for just a moment to peer speculatively around the dim and dusky bar, her eyes appraisingly seeking out the darkest of corners and eyeing the few remaining customers.

And she saw the few remaining customers eyeing her in turn.

A few minutes later, Kaoru found herself kneeling on the floor in a darkened upstairs room, her hands nervously twisting together like two fluttering birds. Her breath came in quick pants in the back of her throat, and anyone who did not know her might have confused her panicked breathing as the result of passion. Doing her best to muster up her courage and suppress the sheer sense of betrayal that was heavy pang of guilt in her heart, she stared nervously at the man in front of her as he took off his hakama and reached for her.

* * *

_  
:ducks things being thrown at her:_

_Reviewing is a sign of respect for the writers of a story. So if you enjoyed _Amber Awakening_, please let me know!_

_I have finally mastered the art of the line break! Go me!_

_I'm batting around with a new story idea in my head, so be on the lookout for a new Kaoru/Kenshin fic around here in a few weeks._

_Thank you!_


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